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"You could come and visit."
"Not if you want all the financial support I send you." Okay, so maybe that wasn't totally true. I was very wealthy now. I didn’t need to work like I had when I was married. The truth was, the last few times I had visited Dean, he'd had no interest in me. It appeared he believed all the things his mother had told him about me. Maybe I should've tried harder, but it seemed easier at the time to just do what they wanted me to do and go away.
"I have to go if I'm going to catch my flight back." She dropped a duffel bag I hadn't realized she was carrying next to my feet. "You're the one who wanted to be a father. So now you can do it." She turned on her heel and strode down the hallway.
I started to go after her, but I looked at Dean, who was still staring at his phone. I couldn't imagine he hadn't heard everything that was just said. Taylor was right. Having a child had been my idea. She’d fought it at first. How must he feel knowing that about her, plus overhearing us argue, not about who would get to keep him, but who would be free of him? Jesus fuck, I was a terrible father.
"Dean."
"What?" He didn't bother looking up.
I picked up the duffel bag and handed it to him. "Take your bag. We’re heading home."
With his gaze still on his phone, he took the strap and put it over his shoulder and then resumed typing.
I looked into Betts's office, wondering how I was going to explain this to her. "I was hoping we could go celebrate, but..."
She waved my comment away as she sat down at her desk. "You have more important things to worry about now."
I desperately wanted to go over to her, especially since for some reason, this felt like an ending, not just an interruption. I was torn between her and Dean, and the guilt of that was unsettling. I should be choosing my son, no question. Apparently, he was having a difficult time, and I knew he didn't care much for me, but that wasn't his fault. That was mine and Taylor's fault. I needed to do better by him.
"Thanks for all your hard work on Mikael, Betts."
She nodded and gave me a wan smile. Did she feel it too? That whatever started last night was now over?
I couldn't continue to stand there and stare at her with yearning in my chest, so I turned to Dean. "Come on, Son, let's go home."
I started up the hall, and a few steps in, I turned to make sure that Dean was following me. The kid must have eyes on the top of his head because he didn't look up from his phone as he followed me up the hall.
It was clear that in an instant, my life had changed. The fucked up part was that I wasn't sure I’d be able to manage it.
16
Betts
If Todd had invited me somewhere private to celebrate the team's victory and Mikael's success at the press conference, I would have gone. After last night, there was no denying how much I wanted to spend time with him. That didn't mean I wasn't concerned about my job or my reputation.
But Todd said he understood and would abide by my terms, which were when we were in public, particularly at work, we had to act professional. Only when I was sure that no one would see us could we give in to the desires we had for each other.
And then his ex showed up.
Todd's expression at seeing her suggested he was completely caught off guard. Anger and resentment burned in his eyes toward Taylor. Whenever he glanced at his son, there seemed to be a helplessness in him. The teenage boy didn't acknowledge either of them, and I wondered how it had to have been for him to listen as his parents argued about who was going to be stuck with him.
The knowledge of that was like a bucket of cold water poured over me. Todd clearly wasn't cut out to be a family man. When I was with him, my hopes of someday being loved and having a family like my friends took a backseat. I too easily forgot that a relationship with him wouldn't go anywhere.
I suppose I should thank Taylor for reminding me of that.
Over the next few days, I worked from my office at the rink instead of going to the corporate offices. It was my attempt to put distance between me and Todd, and hopefully, distance would make my heart grow less fond of him. I'd heard through the grapevine that he hadn't come to work the last few days. News of his son's arrival had gotten out, and apparently, he was spending time getting his son settled in and enrolled in school.
The following weekend, the team was playing in Colorado, and I made the decision to tag along to keep watch on Mikael. He had done well at the last press conference and was confident that he was ready for us to completely cut the tether on him. Each day after practice, I would meet with him, and while he did what he was asked, I could see he was getting frustrated.
"I don't need you on me like a mother hen,” he finally said the day before we were supposed to travel to Colorado.
I nodded. "You're doing very well, Mikael. But in today's world, one off-color remark can derail not just you but your entire team."
He scraped his hands over his face. "How much longer will we have to do this?"
I smiled at him. "I don't think much longer. Just keep up the good work."
