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His brow furrowed as he watched me. "You're not making a lot of sense. Is sex involved?"
I shifted uncomfortably. I didn't like the way Levi was talking about her, but it was partly my problem because I wasn't being clear with him. Levi was my best friend, so if I was going to talk to anybody about the craziness in my life, it would be him. "There has been some sex, yes, but it's not meaningless. It's not sordid."
He sat back in his chair, using his napkin to wipe his mouth. "I'm not sure whether I'm happy for you at finding somebody you want to spend time with or worried that it happens to be someone who works for you who can cause you all sorts of legal hassles. Did she sign an NDA?"
I hadn't even considered asking her to sign an NDA. Every time we were together, it had been a spur of the moment thing. After the night in the hotel, I began to think that perhaps we could have something steady and regular, but then Dean came to live with me. But even between those two points, I hadn't considered asking her to sign an NDA.
I shook my head.
"She must be something if you're willing to risk all that. Especially after the whole thing with Taylor."
He wasn't wrong, and yet I couldn't imagine Betts being as shallow and greedy as Taylor.
"It's all sort of moot at this point. I need to focus on Dean."
Levi shook his head in disappointment. "That's bullshit and you know it. First of all, the kid is a teenager, so it's not like he needs you hovering over him every minute of every day. Second of all, if you and Taylor were married, you'd still be going out and fucking and doing all the things couples do, right? You don't have to give up your life for this kid."
"I have a lot to make up for."
"That may be true, but that doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your own happiness. If this Betts woman makes you happy, then you should pursue that. And if she and Dean get along, that's all the better."
My heart wanted to feel hope at the words he was saying. It was likely I was just talking myself into something that I wanted. But my life wasn't just about me anymore.
Then there was the fact that Betts was still a young woman. Even if she wanted to be saddled with someone who was nearly old enough to be her father, she wasn't likely going to be interested in becoming a stepmother to a teenage boy.
"Betts is not some cheap affair, but neither is she someone I can plan a future with."
"Why the hell not?"
I sighed. "First of all, there is a pretty significant age gap. She's at a different place in her life. She's focused on her career, not settling down, and certainly not settling down with an older man who has a sullen and broody, rude, teenage boy."
Levi rolled his eyes. "Where's my violin so I can play you a sad song? Seriously, dude. It's not for you to decide what everybody in the world wants in relation to you. If you want her, you go after her. And if she thinks you're too old or doesn't want to be a stepmom to Dean, she can tell you that."
What he was saying made sense, but I told myself that it shouldn’t. In reality, Betts and I had a few spectacular hookups and some enjoyable conversations, but it wasn’t more than that.
As I tried to dismiss our interactions as nothing more than enjoyable sex, my heart ached. It wouldn't let me deny that what I was feeling for Betts was more than just lust or camaraderie. For the first time since my marriage imploded, I felt like I had met a woman I could make a life with.
22
Betts
Iwoke up the next morning feeling exhausted. I had a lovely soak in the tub last night, and I slept like the dead, so it was strange to wake up tired. I decided it must've been all the terror screaming from the haunted house yesterday.
Instead of indulging in the fatigue, I forced myself out of bed. The moment I was upright. My stomach rolled, and I hurried to the bathroom as nausea overtook me. Okay, so not fatigue, some sort of bug.
When I was finished emptying what little there was in my stomach, I brushed my teeth and then rummaged through my medicine cabinet looking for a thermometer to take my temperature and something to help with my nausea. A bottle of pain reliever and my birth control toppled out and into the sink. I set the pain reliever aside and put my birth control away because I was on the inert cycle at the moment.
As I closed the medicine cabinet, I had an unsettling feeling that something was off. I opened it and took the birth control pill packet out. Yes, I was in the middle of the week for the inert pills. It then became apparent why something was off. I wasn't menstruating.
A few days late didn't mean anything, right? Except... as I thought back to the last time I had my period, I didn't have one last month, either. How did I not notice that?
I pressed my hands on the side of the sink base and looked at myself in the mirror. Was it possible that I was over a month late?
That could only mean one thing, and yet, at the same time, it was impossible. I was on the pill, so there was no way I could be pregnant, right?
Were there times when I might have forgotten to take it at the same time every day? Yes.
But I usually took it within twelve hours. If I forgot to take it in the morning, I had it in the evening when I went to bed. It had never been a problem before. So maybe I wasn't pregnant. Perhaps it was just stress. Or maybe what I needed to do was take a trip to urgent care to see if there was something seriously wrong with me. With that said, it seemed likely that the first thing they would test for would be pregnancy, so maybe I needed to start there.
