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Dean grinned over at Betts. "Yeah, he is. He's pretty bad."
We all laughed, and a feeling of rightness filled my chest. This was the life that I wanted. With my money, I could do almost anything. But I realized that in my quest to have a successful business, I'd ended up alone. I'd lost my wife and alienated my son. As I enjoyed the delicious meal my son made, I felt at peace. This was what I wanted, an intimate dinner with two people I cared about ... with family.
28
Betts
I’d been apprehensive about going to dinner at Todd's place. I told myself it was because Todd needed to learn to connect with Dean without me around. But if I was completely honest with myself, it was because I was still nervous about telling him about the baby. I considered telling him in his office except it didn’t seem like the right place or time. Or at least, that was what I told myself.
I talked myself into going to dinner tonight because I figured it would be a good opportunity to watch Todd and Dean interact so I could know what to expect when I did tell him about the baby. Odds were that I was making excuses. I didn't fully understand my apprehension about Todd and the baby. I only knew that I felt it.
I was surprised to see Dean helping Todd with the dinner. The boy had been so hurt and angry only hours before. It made me wonder if he and Todd had found an opportunity to talk.
The dinner was surprisingly good considering an angry sixteen-year-old boy had made it. The kid had culinary talent.
After dinner, Todd suggested that we play a board game. He left the dining room for a minute and then came back, unwrapping plastic off the box.
"Did you buy that today?" Dean asked.
Todd set the box on the table. "Yeah. I thought it might be fun. Have you played this before?"
Dean looked at the game. "Heard of it but never played it."
Todd smiled. "Same here. We can learn it together." He turned to me. "How about you?"
I gave them both my evil grin. "I’m the Catan Queen. Analyn and I used to play this game with our friends a lot."
Todd turned his attention to Dean. "Uh-oh, Son. I think I might've doomed us."
At first, Dean acted indifferent, but as he sat down to learn the game, I got the impression that he was enjoying the attention his father was giving him.
I didn't play the game as cutthroat as I might normally have, which is not to say I didn't play to win. Several times, Todd and Dean tried to team up to thwart me, but there was no beating me in the Settlers of Catan.
When we finished, Dean stood and stretched. "I'm heading to bed."
Todd rose from his chair and patted him on the shoulder. "We'll get her next time."
My stomach fluttered at the idea that there would be a next time. I didn't understand what our relationship was, yet it was clear that I wanted it to be something. At least something beyond my being the mother of his child. Maybe that was why I was hesitating in telling him. Maybe I wanted him to want me first. Not because of a baby, but because of me. Of course, if that was going to happen, I’d need to let go of my concern that he was my boss and what that would mean for me at work.
Todd reached into his pocket and pulled out a phone. "I'm giving this back to you because I’m more comfortable knowing that you have a way to reach me if you need me and I can reach you. You still need to finish all the homework you haven't finished yet, but I'm going to trust you to do that."
Dean shrugged like it was no big deal, but I got the feeling it was an attempt to hide how pleased he was. "I'll get it done." Dean looked over at me. "Good night."
I smiled at him. "Good night, Dean."
He headed off to his room, and it was only when I realized I was alone with Todd that my nerves kicked up. The last time we were alone, we had sex on his desk.
He smiled at me. “Progress.”
I nodded. “Yes. I’m happy for you both.” This was it. This was the moment I needed to tell him about the baby. But once again, I found myself nervous. This evening was so nice. And the truth was, I liked being around Todd, even not knowing how he felt about me. Once he learned about the baby, that would all change.
I rose from my chair feeling like a coward with my intention to leave.
"Can you stay a little longer? Maybe have a glass of wine?"
No, I couldn't have a glass of wine. I couldn't have it because I was pregnant. The pregnancy I still hadn't told him about.
"I'm stuffed. Your son is a very good cook." God, I was a horrible person.
