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To my surprise, Parker was a good tutor. We discussed the topics from the first two weeks, and he quizzed me on the concepts. My stubborn brain refused to retain anything until he made little inside jokes to help me remember.
When we got to week three, I had to retrieve my laptop to watch the video Professor Declann had assigned. Parker took a break to use the bathroom, and when we settled back onto the bed, we were pressed against each other from hip to shoulder so we could both see.
The nerves didn’t return, and he didn’t make a single move. No unnecessary touching, no double entendres, only his eyes betrayed how much he wanted a different afternoon on my bed.
In a quiet corner of my mind, something shifted. The tight part inside me relaxed at last. Parker had said nothing would happen, and I believed him.
The video droned on, a throwback from several decades ago, and I couldn’t focus with the warmth of Parker seeping into me. My eyes got heavy, and the last thing I remembered was letting my head fall to his shoulder, just for a second.
By the time I woke up, the shadows had lengthened, leaving the room mostly in darkness. I didn’t have the energy to lift my head and check the clock, but sunset was several hours after the end of practice.
I’d curled around Parker in my sleep, legs entwined with his, the strong sound of his heartbeat under my cheek. His arms wrapped around me, holding me in place. As if I wanted to go anywhere else.
All the reasons I had to stay away from him faded under the languid weight of my sleepy body. I breathed in the scent of dryer sheets and Parker, absently wondering which of them did the laundry.
His fingers stroked my hip where they rested, brushing over the inch of skin where my top had ridden up. The shock of sensation made me squirm, bringing his hand closer to where I wanted him.
Parker murmured something too low for me to catch and turned his head to nuzzle my hair. The quiet twilight made it easy for me to pretend this was a dream. If I didn’t move too much, I wouldn’t have to wake up. I could lay there with him until morning.
The slow burn of a building ache wouldn’t let me sink back into sleep though.
I tucked my hand under his shirt and splayed my fingers across his stomach. If I was going to wake up next to him, I could at least indulge a little. The relief of not fighting the urge to touch him made me giddy. Stupid, too. I brushed the waistband of his sweats and hesitated.
Under my fingers, his abs tightened, and he laid his hand over mine. “Not today, Lorelai.”
“Sorry.” Heat burned my cheeks, but when I tried to pull away, he held me in place.
“I want you. I’m not going to try to hide that—not from you—but I promised nothing would happen. Nothing will. This was just a little nap while studying. Gives the brain a break.”
With my ego soothed, I relaxed against him again. “Do you always nap with Mac when you’re studying?”
He laughed, the sound low and rough from sleep. “No. He starfishes as soon as he’s out. Horrible cuddler.”
“What’s this then?” I whispered.
Parker linked our fingers on his stomach. “Sometimes it’s nice just to be held.”
“I like napping with you.” The truth was easier to hedge when I wasn’t staring into striking blue eyes, so I pulled away and sat up to face him. “But that’s not all this is. I wouldn’t do this with anyone else.”
“Me either, but it feels right with you. If I had my way—”
I laid my fingers over his lips to stop him. Whatever he was about to say would add another brick to the weight of my own need. I was strong, but everyone reached a breaking point eventually.
He gripped my wrist, holding me still for a moment before lowering my arm, like he was fighting the same battle not to cross another line. “Do you remember the point of the homework reading from the first day of class?”
I searched my memory, and a filmy thought solidified. “Human touch is necessary for comfort.”
Parker flattened my hand on his chest. “We’re not doing anything wrong. It’s human touch. Mac slaps my ass way more than necessary. Duke gets handsy when he’s drunk. And I can hold you when it feels like the pressure is going to bury us. We deserve comfort.”
He wasn’t wrong. Our lives were hard on our bodies, and I hadn’t slept this well in ages. Part of me recognized I was reaching for the handy excuse he’d provided, but I didn’t care.
“No one can know about this. If anyone asks, we studied and that’s it.”
He nodded solemnly, and his agreement finally pushed me over the edge. We’d already spent hours wrapped around each other. Nothing had happened because Parker had stopped us. I trusted him more than I trusted myself at this point.
And I wanted that warmth again.
“Come back tomorrow?”
