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I’d come to same conclusion, but the restriction still pissed me off. Riley didn’t seem bothered at all, and I had an uncomfortable moment of doubt. Last night, I’d held myself back because I wanted her to be absolutely sure. But what if she changed her mind?
I crossed my arms, trying not to go full asshole. “So you’re just going to bail whenever there’s a chance we could be seen together? I thought you were dedicated to the team.”
She raised a brow. “You don’t get to talk to me like that. Youknowwhy we can’t show up together, and you agreed to it last night. If you don’t think I’m putting the team first by sending you off to be their fearless leader, you can fuck right off.”
Clearly, I’d missed the mark on not being an asshole. I approached her, then stopped short at the violence in her eyes. “That’s not what I meant, and I’m sorry. I know how important the team is to you.”
“Do you think maybe you’re cranky because only one of us got off last night?”
My cock screamed yes, but I shook my head—the attitude wasn’t crankiness, it was fear. “I have zero regrets about last night, but if you’ve changed your mind, say so.”
Her face softened, and she dropped the towel to wrap her arms around my neck. “I told you I wasn’t going to change my mind. I’m all in.”
Relief washed through me, sweeping away the rest of the frustration and anger. “All in,” I agreed.
I cupped her face, bringing my mouth to hers. Kissing her reset all the fucked-up emotions clawing for space in my chest. Despite me doing my best to screw everything up, she didn’t run. Riley wouldn’t give up on something she wanted, and thank god, she wanted me.
* * *
I spentthe morning stuck in my head. My reaction to Riley and her push back to my stupidity was the first experience I’d had with a relationship in a long while, not that I’d ever dated someone secretly before. Riley had handled my mood swing pretty well, but I needed to get a grip on myself.
We’d both agreed to the boundaries, and it wouldn’t be fair to her if I got pissy every time we ran into one of them.
Mac picked up on my mood and played interference while Noah spotted me. The guys circling Mac laughed at his antics as I racked the bar after my second set. Noah glanced their way then eyed me.
“Want to talk about it?”
I did, but talking about it didn’t seem like a great way to keep things secret.
Noah tilted his head at my extended silence. “You know I live with you, right? I’m fully aware of who stayed over last night.”
His quiet words made me scan the room to be sure no one was in earshot. “I can’t discuss it in here.”
“Use general terms.”
I sat up on the bench and stretched. “Why are you pushing this? You hate talking.”
“I don’t hate talking. I choose to speak when I have something to say.Youhave something to say.”
The location could have been better, but Noah wouldn’t repeat anything. He barely talked tous. Still, I hesitated. Was this something I was supposed to run by Riley? Relationships were confusing. The truth absolutely couldn’t get out, but I trusted Noah.
“I may be making a horrible mistake, and I can’t seem to stop myself from pushing forward.”
“Do you want to stop yourself?”
“Fuck no.”
Noah’s eyes flicked to the others before landing on me again. “Why do you think it’s a horrible mistake? Are you worried about her?”
I didn’t want to have this conversation facing him, so I laid back down to finish my last set. “It’s a concern—a big one. We both have a lot to lose.”
“What do you have to gain?”
Air filled my lungs as I breathed deep. Everything. She felt like everything. The thought of seeing her later made me giddy, even if all we did was talk. I purposefully steered my thoughts away from what we’d probably do later because I didn’t want to show off my dick in a room full of my teammates.
Being with her felt right—as if everything subtly clicked into place when I didn’t even know the world was sideways. We were halfway through the season, and I felt like I’d known her all my life.
What did I have to gain?
