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“No,” I reply and then get up the courage to admit, “Ike claimed my cherry last night. It felt really good, but I also might be damaged inside.”
“Oh, no,” Tuesday replies immediately and hurries me to a chair. “I sensed you were cherry-free today, but I didn’t want to be rude about it. Why don’t you put up your feet and I’ll get an ice pack for your cooch?”
After I recline in the chair, Alexis stuffs a pillow under my knees to support them in my new position. “I remember when West fucked my lady bits raw.”
“This conversation has turned age inappropriate,” Roxie insists.
“No, this is good for you to hear,” Tuesday insists. “That way, when you meet a cute boy and he wants you to spread, you’ll ask yourself, ‘Is getting banged by his loser worth the pain later?’”
“Did you not hear that before losing your cherry?” Roxie asks. “Is that why you’re so, um, sexually liberated?”
“Yes, my sluttiness came from a lack of understanding. I blame my mother. She implied sex was easy, so I went hog wild. I plan to teach my own daughters,” Tuesday says, pausing long enough to stroke Roxie’s cheek, “to consider their tender lady bits.”
“I liked the fucking,” I announce, enjoying the freedom of cussing around people. “Just in case that wasn’t clear. The pain was absolutely worth it.”
A dreamy-eyed Tuesday nods. “Because of the love.”
“I do love Ike,” I insist, feeling as if I need to prove myself. “I’m not using him.”
“No, of course not. He’s great. We all love him. Since you make him happy, we’re going to love you, too.”
Tuesday’s words are spoken with such conviction that I choose to believe them. I stop worrying about Ike returning to say he has second thoughts.
As I wait for Ike to return, I watch Tuesday act out the chaotic scene at the restaurant after I ran off. She makes the entire thing into a fun romp. In her mind, there’s no harm in speeding off with a stranger. Our love makes sense.
Embracing the fantasy, I fully believe the homestead will become my sanctuary, and these women will be my friends.
IKE, AKA WORKING HIS MAGIC ON MA, PA, AND SNARLY SIS
The homestead has alwaysseemed like paradise. I didn’t have to worry about anything out here. Other kids got off the bus at a single house while I’d step off to find a wonderland waiting for me.
Back in the day, I might spend my afternoons fishing or fixing motorcycles or playing tag or even baking cookies. Everyone was always in each other’s houses. I never felt lonely or doubted my worth.
Today, the homestead still feels like home. Yet, I can’t help imagining myself living elsewhere like Otto, Rie, and Felix.Can I be happy without my people just next door?
Next to me, my parents and Edith hold their tongues. We walk through the thick grass toward Stache Lake. Eventually, we find a private spot to hash out the situation.
