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“I didn’t see you yelling back, Pres,” says Bear.
I shrug. “I like Anton. I was just letting him know who was boss.”
“Great, so now he thinks Queenie is in charge,” says Hulk and I roll my eyes. Most of the time, she actually is. That lady can get crazy, but she’s also the one who keeps us calm. She looks after everyone under this roof and makes sure we do each other right. She’s a true old lady to the club.
Bear goes back to his game, but Hulk takes a seat. “Things still cold between you and Mae?”
“She’s history. I’d like us to go back to being friends, but I can’t see that happening for a long time.”
“Let’s hope she doesn’t go off with the Mafia too. Before you know it, they’ll both be moving out to Anton’s huge place.”
I ponder this for the rest of the day, and I have to stop myself from driving to Trucker’s garage several times, just to check she’s there working and not with someone else. It’s crazy. I’ve blown it with her, but I still can’t get her out of my head. I crave her sweet taste and her hot body against my own.
I remind myself of the same scenarios over and over to remember why I can’t go there. Kids, I don’t want any more. I’m too old, but she’s still in her prime, of course, she’ll want a family someday. Then there’s the trust issue she has around men. I spend a lot of time on the road, so will she always accuse me of being with other women? Lucy is another reason. I’ve only just gotten her back in my life, and if she disapproves, she might decide to go back to her mum’s or cut me out of her life. I can’t have that happen again.
As if conjuring my girl up, she enters the clubhouse looking tired and stressed. When she sees me, she smiles. “Pops.” She kisses me on my cheek and shifts Abel onto her hip. “Is Mae or Piper around?”
“Well, Mae went to work and Piper is off with Anton. Hey, did you know those two were a thing?”
Lucy scowls, her hatred of Anton clear for everyone to see. When he faked Tag’s death last year, she was more than pissed. Since then, she tolerates Anton because of who he is, but she dislikes him. “I need someone to watch Abe.”
“Well, I can take him.”
She eyes me for a second. I’ve never watched the baby on my own before, and I’m the first to admit I’m not great with small kids. Give them to me when they’re walking and talking and it’s not a problem, but a one-year-old is a whole other story. “You sure?”
“How hard can it be? Where are you going anyway?”
“I have some errands to run. I can ask Queenie or Bernie,” she suggests, but I take little Abel from her.
“I can take care of my own grandchild, Lucy. We’ll be fine, and if I struggle, I’ll ask Queenie.”
Lucy reluctantly hands me over a bag. “Well, if you’re sure. If he gets cranky, his pushchair’s out front. Take him for a walk, he’ll sleep in that thing, it’s like a magic cure.”
I follow her out. “We’ll be fine. Take your time.”
MAE
I was right, the office was a complete mess when I got here earlier and it’s taken me hours to straighten it out. I finally file the last invoice, then look from the office window down into the workshop. Most of the guys have gone for the night, but Trucker is still tinkering away with a motorcycle. I lock up the office and head down the metal steps. Trucker looks up as I approach. “You done for the day, girl?”
Nodding, I hand over the keys. “I’ll be in tomorrow. I need to get back to normal and that starts with routine.”
“Foxy said you’d been a bit weird lately. She’s worried about you.”
“I’m all good, Trucker. Got my first real look at heartbreak. It wasn’t pretty.”
He laughs. “That’s not your first heartbreak. I still remember you crying over that little guy who pulled your hair many years ago.”
“Oh god, that was Thomas Shunt. I was eight years old!”
“It was heartbreak nonetheless. You announced to the whole club you were gonna marry that kid.”
“Huh, maybe I should look him up and see if he’s still single.”
I leave the garage, deciding to walk back to the clubhouse. It’s a warm evening and it’s a short walk, but as I cut through the park, I can’t help but feel like I’m being watched. Occasionally, I glance around but nothing stands out. There are a few groups of teenagers hanging about, but they’re paying no attention to me. I’ll let Hulk know just in case, but it’s not big enough for me to bother Ace with. I definitely don’t want to have to speak with him. I’m proud of myself for the way I’ve acted around him since our set-up date. I’ve been civil, but I’ve kept a coolness that’s had Ace watching me from afar with longing in his eyes.
As I get into the clubhouse, I stop in my tracks. Ace is pacing up and down with a screaming Abel in his arms. He looks stressed, and Dodge is following every step while whimpering. I consider marching past him, but Abel looks distressed and it wouldn’t be kind on him. “You okay?” I ask, dumping my bag on the couch.
“Not really. Bernie and Queenie won’t help me.”
