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Rylee laughs. “Don’t you dare. You’re a natural with Reuben.”
“What about you?” asks Hadley, looking at me. “Will we be seeing you as much?”
I nod. “How will I annoy Dice if I’m not around?”
Astraea, Dice’s ol’ lady, laughs. “Don’t let him fool you into thinking he doesn’t miss you. His eyes light up whenever you’re around to give him grief.”
I smile. “How’s he coping with baby Ivy?” I ask, feeling bad I haven’t been around much to notice.
“He’s a natural. Not that I ever doubted him,” says Astraea. “She’s got him wrapped around her little finger already.”
“What’s next for you and Albert?” asks Gracie.
I shrug. “I don’t know. I never thought I’d be in this position, to be honest, so whatever happens next is a bonus.”
“I must say, we were all very surprised to see you finally settling down,” admits Rylee. “But we’re so happy for you.”
Meli flags a passing waitress to ask for a tray of shots. The rest of the group groan, knowing how crazy things can get once Meli starts bringing out the shots. When they arrive, she passes them out, missing her own. I raise a brow, and she smiles coyly. “I’ll have to pass.” We all turn our attention to her, and she holds up a glass of water. “I promised I wouldn’t say. It’s only eight weeks, but I can’t keep it from you guys.”
My mouth falls open in surprise. “Pregnant?” I whisper, and she nods enthusiastically.
“Oh my god,” adds Hadley before throwing her arms around her sister. We all follow, congratulating her.
The others eventually go off to dance, leaving me alone with Meli. She takes my hand. “Are you okay? You seem quiet since I made the announcement.”
“I’m just shocked,” I reassure her. “I guess I . . .” I shake my head, trying to find the words.
“It passes,” she says, tucking my hair away from my face. “The feeling that everything around you is going too well and it’ll all come crashing down, it passes. You start to believe you’re worthy enough to be loved.”
I feel tears balancing on my lower lashes. “I keep pinching myself to check it’s real. I don’t know what he sees in me, Meli. Why does he want to take me and Ollie on?”
“Because you’re fucking amazing, Rosey. It takes a good, strong man to handle you, and he does it with ease. He isn’t going anywhere. You just have to let him love you.”
I nod, knocking back another shot. “Do you mind if I sneak off?”
“Missing him already?” she asks, laughing.
I stand, kissing her on the cheek. “Something like that.”
It’s dark and the cab driver looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. “You sure, love? It’s a bit secluded.”
I pay him and get out. “I’ll be fine. I’m a trained killer,” I tell him, and he laughs before driving off.
I give the large metal gates a tug, but they’re chained up. So, I grab the bars and haul myself up, throwing a leg over and climbing down the other side. My heels instantly sink into the soggy ground, but it doesn’t deter me as I make my way to my destination.
I stare down at Eagle’s headstone. The single red rose I brought here all those months ago is shrivelled and lifeless. “I assume you don’t get to watch us from hell, and maybe that sort of thing is reserved for heaven.” I crouch down. “I don’t know why I’m here,” I admit. “I think a part of me feels it’s a good way to tie loose ends. You’d think I wouldn’t need to after I put you down there in the first place. I’ll be honest, Eagle, I’ve been freefalling through life since I was fucking born, and every damn day’s been a fight. I joke around and hide all my insecurities behind my smart remarks and trigger-happy finger, but deep down, I’m a mess. But I guess you knew that already.
“I often think about what my life would have been if I was born into a good family with a mum and a dad, maybe some siblings. If I’d have had someone to guide me and show me how to live a normal life. And then I think of the good things I have, things I’d never have had if I’d been normal. I wouldn’t have The Perished Riders, I wouldn’t have Ollie, and I wouldn’t have Albert. So, I guess I’m trying to say, I’m good with how things have worked out. I’m glad you gave me Ollie, and that I got to love him enough for the both of us. I’m glad he’s got siblings who love him and will do anything for him, and now, he’s got a dad. A good dad who’ll treat him how a son should be treated.”
I wipe my eyes, not realising I’d been crying until now. I give a small laugh and release a heavy breath. “I’m letting it all go, Eagle. The anger, the hurt, the pain. I’m gonna give normal a shot. Well, as normal as I can be. I’m gonna love my boy even harder, and I’m gonna let Albert love us both, in a way you never could have. So, goodbye, Eagle. From this moment on, I’ll never think about you again.”
As I walk past the church, I notice the door ajar, so I push my way in. Michael, the vicar and a club member, is sitting hunched over on the front pew. When he hears my footsteps, he stands, checking his watch. “Rosey, it’s almost midnight, is everything okay?”
I nod. “Yeah. Can I light a candle?” He frowns but nods anyway. “I climbed the gates,” I add as a way of explanation, and he laughs. I light the candle and say a silent goodbye to my mum. I hated that woman, but, fuck, I loved her too. “I’m marrying Albert Taylor,” I tell Michael.
“That’s fantastic news. Have you set the date?”
“I don’t want it in here,” I say, looking around the cold church. “Will you do it at the clubhouse?”
