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The hardened expression she wore from the moment we stepped into the kitchen starts to soften. Damien makes her laugh and Lev makes her feel comfortable. I’m not sure what I can bring to this equation. I want to bring something, though. I’ve read her medical reports and looked into some of the places where she could have gotten her scars. I don’t know what she’s been through, but I refuse to be part of the bad anymore.
I messed up by treating her like a servant when I first met her, too caught up in the game I was tasked to play. But I've come to realize that here, I make the rules of the game. This is the place where we are supposed to find who we want to be. I don’t care if I have to be the thing of nightmares to the rest of the world, but I will not be that to her ever again.
“So what, you want me to bring you lunch back here every day?”
“No,” I say, standing up straight. “I’ll make us both lunch here.” I’ve been making my own food for years. Some would say I’m picky, but I would just say I simply know how to cook it better.
“You cook?” She looks so surprised.
“Better than most five-star chefs,” I say with a nod. I’m not full of myself either. I learned from some of the best chefs in the world. No one, other than the guys, knows of my little hobby. Evie rolls her eyes in disbelief. “If you don’t like what I cook, I will personally go to the food hall and get you whatever you desire.”
“All I have to do is come back and eat with you? Nothing else?” she asks skeptically.
“I won’t say no if you beg me to fuck you,” I say jokingly, “but yeah, that’s the deal. You have lunch with me, and I give you the mastermind behind multiple plots to get to you.”
“I will never beg you to fuck me, but…” She looks at her coffee, biting her lip and distracting me from the conversation. I begin thinking back to the other night.
Her lips were so swollen, like Damien had tried to devour her. I saw them the other night before she woke up screaming. Damien knows I like to watch him sleep sometimes. Seeing someone at peace is almost euphoric to me. It makes me feel like things will be okay when the world seems to be falling apart. I’ve been to his room a lot lately when I can't sleep; it's the reason there's a large sofa chair in there. He knows, and he doesn’t mind.
Seeing him with Lev was a surprise, but seeing Evie tucked tight under his arm had me tripping over their clothes and practically falling into the wall. Thankfully, I caught myself before I made too much noise. I was shocked Evie didn’t wake up, knowing how light of a sleeper she is. Maybe something about Damien makes her feel safe to sleep. They both looked so calm, happy even. I was there for hours until I heard Lev come home.
I watch as Lev comes in and sees them asleep together. I don’t know how their dynamic works, but Lev didn’t seem angry, or even jealous. When he saw me, he gestured for me to follow him.
At first, I thought he was mad I was watching Evie without her permission, but then he signals for me to sit in the kitchen and grabs us both bottles of water.
“I’m sorry for earlier," he says, sitting at the table with me. “I took my anger out on you and that wasn’t fair.”
I look him over, he's got blood on his hands and shirt. His eyes look wild, but also distant.
“Where were you?” I ask him, ignoring the apology. It hurt when he pushed me away from her, but I understood. I wasn’t keeping the bastard alive because we were ‘friends’, I was keeping him alive because of the rules. And because I knew Evie would want to challenge him. In the challenge, she can kill him, and I have no doubt that's something she wants to do herself.
Lev sighs, taking a big drink before setting the bottle on the table. He runs a hand through his white hair, staining it with streaks of red. “Did you know Slade tried to get to Evie?”
So that’s where our weapons teacher went. “I didn’t.” I knew of all the others, they had shared it with me. I’m the one who ensured most of their fates after they left the island. Plenty of people owe me favors out there.
“He’s been locked up for almost three months now. I think we haven't told you about him because what he wanted to do to her was the worst. He had his house here set up with a dungeon. There were cameras and all sorts of tools. Damien was even disgusted and you know how well-versed he is in that world. There were letters he wrote, talking about all the ways he wanted to hurt her, torture her, rape her.” I see his jaw clench as bile rises in my throat.
“And why didn’t you want to tell me about that?” I ask. I know they thought I started this, but I thought we had moved past that. This is the first time the two of them have kept secrets from me and it’s starting to get on my last fucking nerve.
“At first, it was because we didn’t trust you with it. But later, it just became background noise. Classes became a lot. Then we were helping Evie catch up and train. It all started feeling fun, good even. When things got bad we would use him as a punching bag. I think Damien was always saving him for Evie to handle. But for me, I honestly just forgot to talk about it.”
After a moment, I nod. Everything has been overwhelming lately with our fathers and classes, not to mention all these people after Evie.
“I installed cameras outside the door and in the living area. I figured after Nessa got in here we needed to amp up security.” At the mention of Nessa's name, Lev winces slightly. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“This literally just happened, but…” He looks down at the table. “Evie let her go, and she’s not kicking her out.”
I stare at him blankly. What the fuck. I push back my chair almost causing it to crash to the ground as I get up to pace the floor. “Why did she do that? Why did you guys let her do that?” I ask in exasperation.
“First of all, you’re fucking delusional if you think we have any say in her choices. Second, she had a good point about it all. She thinks letting Nessa go will help her get back into good graces with the other students. She has no idea how bad it is, but I think this was actually a good call.”
He defends her well. He never asks for much from me, never having cared for someone like he seems to care for her. Like we all seem to.
“How are you all making this work?” I ask. The thought has been at the front of my mind since Lev walked in tonight.
He shrugs, leaning back in his chair. “Honestly, it just fell into place. From the moment I met her I felt a pull to her. Something about her strength and the way she doesn't give a shit about what you say, had me willing to fall at her feet.”
I huff at that, but he continues. “Damien seems drawn to her too. Since he and I have been…” he trails off, apparently they don’t have a label for whatever they are. “Anyway, it just works. I help Damien be serious, but she laughs about it and lets him act like a maniac. Damien helps her feel joy, even when she acts like he pisses her off half the time. The smiles she has around him are like a lighthouse. She’s the beacon in our storm. When all seems lost, she’s the way home.”
