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That’s what has me captivated. These men are strong, but they also have this side to them that seems gentle. Like when they come home from torturing men and trading drugs they curl up on the couch with a rom-com and a glass of wine. The two sides have me conflicted but also entranced.
I take a long look around the room, clearing my head from thoughts of Lev’s body before I answer him. “I like all of your blankets,” I say, and he looks over at his bed. “I mean, I would die from the heat if I were you, but they look cozy,” I joke.
He chuckles. “I only sleep half under them, I just like the feeling of them around me,” he says. I get that.
“When I was little, my father would tuck me in at night, and I remember trying not to move so I could keep the comfort of him around me.” I take a deep breath. I hardly ever talk about my parents. “It made me feel safe - like I was in a cocoon, and no one could get me.” Tears begin to burn the back of my eyes. I close them and shake my head. Clearing my throat, I try to dismiss the thought. “Anyway, I’m going to go down for dinner soon,” I say before turning to leave.
“Wait,” he says.
I pause, halfway out the door, and blink to clear my vision before turning back. “Yeah?” I ask, my voice cracking just slightly.
He walks over to his bed and pulls off one of the large white fluffy blankets before coming over to hand it to me. His fingers brush mine, and it sends warm tingles down my spine. I look up at him a bit confused. “What’s this for?”
“Just for you to keep close, if you need it.” He shrugs. “I… I’m sorry about the closet,” he says looking down. Before I can say anything, he walks back to his computer and places his headphones back over his ears.
I stare at him for a moment, not knowing if he realizes what he just offered me. I close his door behind me, then take the blanket back to my room and sit on my bed. Pulling it close, I take a moment to breathe him in. Spice and pine invade my senses. It has me burying my face in the softness, finding a comfort in it I never knew existed. It’s intoxicating. Part of me begins to wish I didn’t have a mission to complete here. A mission that might make me go into hiding if I do it right.
I shake my head, dismissing that thought. My parents deserve to be avenged. They deserve for their deaths not to be pointless. If I’m not strong enough to give them this, then I don’t deserve to be alive. My resolve strengthens as I toss the blanket on my bed before going to the final room.
The door lightly squeaks when I open it, causing me to glance around to make sure no one heard the noise before I slip inside. Everything is black. The desk, nightstands, the bed, the sheets. Everything.
It feels right that his room matches his cold, black heart. I walk around before going into the bathroom, wanting to know what makes this guy tick.
I pull open some drawers to find the basics and sigh, beginning to think there may not be anything for him to hide. I’m about to give up and leave when I notice my reflection contort in the mirror, like there’s a bend to it. Upon further inspection, I see a hidden door on a panel. I push the door in, and it pops out just enough for me to wrap my fingers around the edge to pull back. Two small shelves are lined with pills.
Zoloft, Adderall, Xanax, Valproate.
Mood stabilizers, anticonvulsants, anxiety stabilizers. What does Alexi have that requires all of these drugs to be used together?
BANG!
A loud crash makes me jump and I turn to see Alexi in the doorway.
Fuck.
Chapter 20
When I walk into my room I notice my bathroom light on, and my heart stops in my chest. Evie is staring into the small hidden cabinet behind my mirror.
I knew a long time ago my anger issues and time management needed some help, so I sought a few medications and I take them when needed. No one knows about this though, not even my father. Especially not my father.
I can see her nose scrunch up as she reads the labels. She doesn't deserve to know that kind of information about me, no one does. Rage begins to fill me, red hot blinding rage. Before I can blink, I’m kicking in the door so hard it breaks.
Evie jumps back with a look of terror on her face. Fucking finally. She has challenged me, attempted to belittle me, she even fucking cut my hand open. I was going to let it go, I was going to try to make this work and not be in a constant state of anger, but she crossed the fucking line here and she knows it. Now, she finally has a real reason to fear me.
The darkness seeps into my eyes, and I’m unaware of how far I’ve taken it until Lev grabs my arm and starts yelling.
“Alexi. You need to let go!” He begins shaking my arm as my vision begins to clear. “You’re going to kill her, Lex. Let. Her. Go!”
I blink and reality slaps me in the face. I’m holding Evie up by her throat, her face is bright red, and her lips are slightly purple. Her eyes were starting to roll into the back of her head when I finally let go.
She falls to the ground, limp.
“What the fuck did you do?” Lev says, leaning over Evie and scooping her up. The movement seems to help her wake up. She panics when she sees she's in Lev’s arms and nearly jumps out of them while coughing and trying to suck in air. Tears are in her eyes, but when she looks back at me, fury like I’ve never seen before burns in them too.
She lunges at me and I pull my gun out, aiming it right at her head. She doesn’t hesitate, just keeps moving while she struggles to keep her breath. Her determination is rather unsettling, making me truly question whether or not I could pull the trigger and eviscerate her strength from a world that so desperately needs it.
Lev grabs her around the waist and pulls her firmly to him. “Woah there. This is not happening,” Lev says as Evie tries to jerk out of his hold. She’s not trying very hard though. “Does someone want to tell me what’s going on?” he asks, still fighting to keep her away from me and my aim.
