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“What was becoming a father like for you?”
His eyes shot to mine. “Oh, uh, it was good.”
“Come on, Dad.” I put my fork down and moved my plate away. “Tell me all about it.”
“Really?” He raised an eyebrow.
I nodded.
Heaving a sigh, he dropped his fork and settled against his chair. His gaze turned up to the ceiling like the answers were hidden there.
Then he spoke. “I was confused at first. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. But I guess I grew into it.”
“How did you feel when you found out Mom was pregnant?”
I'd always known I was a surprise baby. They didn't plan it, but Dad hardly ever spoke about it. Not at all like something he regretted.
"I was scared." His eyes grew distant, and he laughed. "Terrified. I was so young. Didn't know the first thing about kids or pregnancies."
His smile disappeared, eyes growing serious. “I worried I wouldn’t be able to be there like I should for your mom.”
“But you stayed.”
"Yes." He shook his head, still lost in his thoughts. "There was no other choice. After the initial terror passed, it was your mom and me and the life we were bringing into this world. It was all I cared about."
Liam had said they were going to leave their hometown, but I came along, and my dad had to stay back. There was no way I could admit what I knew without tracing it back to Liam.
So I reframed the next question in my head. “What was the biggest adjustment you had to make?”
“Biggest?” A line appeared between his brows. “Learning how to function with little sleep after you were born.”
“I think I was a good baby.”
“A little terror, that’s what you were.”
I laughed. “What else?”
“A little firecracker. Hell, you could yell all night just for the sake of it.”
"Dad, I meant what else did you have to adjust in your life."
"Oh." He grinned, then shrugged. "Just knowing my life was no longer all mine. You and your mom came first."
My heart clenched, and my hand shook with the need to touch my stomach. My baby came first, too, but I was afraid.
“Do you feel like you missed out on certain things?” I leaned forward.
His eyes bounced off me, turning upward. “Do I? Some things, yes. Like partying with the boys, going off to college, all of that.”
“Oh.”
"But do I regret not having those things? No." He looked at me, eyes soft. "Having you gave me direction and showed me what truly mattered. I could have whiled away time being stupid. But you taught me to grow up."
My eyes misted. “Dad…”
“It’s true.” He breathed out. “Heck, I don’t know where I’d be now if not for your mom and you. But here is the place I want to be the most.”
I smiled. “But Dad, did you ever wish things had happened differently?”
