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I’d seen her enough over the last three years to tell when she felt anxious. Her restlessness coincided with mine but for entirely different reasons. I couldn’t wait to set foot outside these prison walls again and escape the dark void that had pulled me under since my incarceration. Sadie had demons I couldn’t begin to fathom and none of them had anything to do with the reason we both sat here today.
I got pinched. It was my choice and I stood by it. I wasn’t a fucking pussy. I could own my shit.
There wasn’t more to say.
But Sadie? Did she deal with the abuse and move on? I couldn’t say for sure.
“How’s the sessions going?”
She finally took my advice after the nightmares became too much and began seeing a therapist.
“Good. Really good, Hawk. I’m learning a lot about myself and how to maintain boundaries. It’s not easy, but I’m dealing with all the trauma.” She shrugged, a smile forming on her lips. “I met someone. He’s sweet, patient, and didn’t run when he heard about my past.”
“That’s fucking amazing.” I meant that.
She pushed her hair over her shoulders, clearing her throat. I could sense she had something she needed to get off her chest. The wounds from that night had faded long ago but they left behind scars. One by her mouth and another by her eyebrow. A reminder of her strength and perseverance.
I searched her eyes, staring at the beautiful face of a survivor. Over the last three years, she’d gained confidence and reclaimed the parts of herself she lost.
A gorgeous girl inside and out, she made me feel special just by showing up twice a month to check in. Had the circumstances been different I probably would have been attracted to and flirted with Sadie. Hell, I would’ve taken her on a ride on my Harley and my cock, but I didn’t see her like that. Couldn’t. Not after the way we met.
“You think you’ll find happiness?”
Ah. Now I understood why she seemed a little solemn today.
“Don’t doubt it. All I need is my bike and the open road to find a little peace.” I meant that. I learned a long time ago to let the past go and not dwell on it.
“That sounds too easy.”
“Babe, life is only as hard as you make it. I live for the simple things like beer, my club, and pussy.”
The corners of her lips lifted in a little smile before faltering. “Being here didn’t make you bitter?”
“You askin’ if I regret what I did that night? Fuck no. Any bitterness I got inside ain’t from you.”
Her shoulders relaxed. “Good to know, Hawk.”
Glad we had that settled.
“I guess you’ll be returning to your life in the club. Motorcycles and mayhem. Right?”
I couldn’t help laughing at her description. “Yeah. Been missin’ my bike.”
Caw...caw.
And the crow too. He never strayed far from the prison. Even now, I could feel his presence, restless for my release.
The Class C felony I’d been charged with held a maximum five-year sentence and the judge shackled me with it, pissed I’d broken into a man’s home and assaulted him. Didn’t seem to be fazed by the fact he beat on his girlfriend. Sadie testified but it didn’t matter. In the judge’s eyes I was a thug who already had a criminal history. He didn’t seem to like my affiliation with a 1%er biker club.
After serving three of the five years, I was informed by the parole board that I was a free man at the end of this month.
Staring across the table at Sadie, I didn’t regret my choices. It was worth it to see the young woman who had been so broken and bloody that night regain her confidence and the freedom to live life any way she wanted.
We only talked about Jed once when she discovered he had lost his eye and all his fingers had been broken. I admitted I carved a message onto his forehead with my knife. Felt damn good when I learned the skin scarred as I had hoped.
“I hope you won’t be a stranger once you’re out but maybe that’s weird.”
Frowning, I wasn’t sure what she meant. “Gotta be straight with me, honey. Mixed messages aren’t my thing.”
