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It wasn't fair. None of this was fair.
"I don't blame you, Aria,” he murmured. “It's okay."
I appreciated the effort, but our bond said otherwise—resentment and pain and hurt were all festering within it, and that was all my fault.
I should’ve been able to tell it was Barimuz right away and come for him, but I'd been so caught up in the idea that he'd finally overcome all the bad feelings he'd been shuffling through since we ran from the Free Kingdom, I was blinded.
Luckily, the contact was soothing both of our beasts. My angel was quiet, but her presence was like a low thrum in my mind; it was an uncomfortable sensation I needed to get used to. Somehow, I was even more connected to Sariel because his wolf and angel felt like they were taking up space in me, too; thinking about it too long would drive me insane.
"Iblame me. You should never have gone through this," I said.
He sighed, shaking his head, when I choked on a sob, then squeezed him before stepping back and wiping furiously at my face. "Sorry. I'm not trying to make you feel guilty for feeling how you feel about it. I'm just— I'm so sorry. I can't apologize enough for not realizing."
For denying it and ignoring the weirdness; forarguingwhen anyone else tried to bring it up. Thinking about that made me sick.
Sariel just waited for me to get myself back under control, steadfast in his calm.
You deserve better.
The thought drifted down the bond to him, and he finally scowled at me, sparks of irritation reflecting back at me.No, you're just focusing on howIam instead of handling howyouare. Barimuz manipulated you for weeks, Aria; there's no way you came out of that unscathed.
Denial was my knee-jerk reaction. I shook my head at his response.He was nice. Nobody tortured me or mistreated me while you were locked up.
Not all mistreatment looks like mine.
I knew that, of course, but it wasn't like the demon had… he hadn'thurtme. A few kisses and some ass-grabbing, but nothing that’d been a violation.
Nausea built in my gut anyway, though, and Sariel nodded like he had proven his point.
He touched you without your consent, Aria, even if it wasn't—
His angel’s rage was so potent I shuddered, and he paused the thought to breathe through it.
You couldn't consent since you didn't know it wasn't me. That's not even accounting for how messy your feelings must be. You have memories of me that aren't even real.
My tears returned tenfold, and he reached for me again, pulling me into another hug as my knees wobbled. When they folded, he followed me to the floor.
"It's okay. You're okay," he said. "This won't break you, baby, just like the rest of your life didn't."
He held me, rocking me from side to side as I worked through the onslaught of emotion. A lifetime's worth of tears felt like they'd poured out of me in the last few hours, but I can't even make that joke out loud. My head was fuzzy and aching by the time I cried myself out, and he didn't pull away immediately.
"I swear I'll stop crying eventually,” I laughed, and he actually smiled back at me.
"I know you will."
He held me until I could stop yanking desperately at our bond for comfort, and only then did we pull apart.
I have an angel, I suddenly recall.
The realization earned me a smile, and he nodded slowly.You met my wolf, but your angel was a bit busy defending my honor.
I could feel my cheeks heating at the realization; my angel preened in my chest like that was a compliment. Sensing this, Sariel laughed aloud and leaned back on his palms.
Luckily, Neo and Atlan hadn't returned yet, because I highly doubted the duo would be impressed by my breakdown.
Maybe we can try proper introductions when we get back to the camp,I offered tentatively.
He grimaced but nodded slowly.My wolf is fallen-blood, though.
