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“When will you be home?”
“We’re leaving first thing in the morning.”
“Do you need me to do anything?”
“I just need a distraction right now, Blake,” Lilah whispered wearily. “I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m a wreck and Ben…” Her eyes flickered over to him and she was startled to find him watching her, his eyes hooded, his face lined with exhaustion and concern. Probably petrified she’d start gasping for breath and add to his problems.
She only just refrained from rolling her eyes and turned her back on him instead, staring pensively out at the night sky.
Blake was saying something, talking about her pet grooming business, telling Lilah an anecdote about Moxy, one of her regular clients, a goofy giant Airedale terrier who seemed to fancy herself a lapdog. Usually, Lilah loved hearing stories about Blake’s furry clients, a lot of them were her clients as well. Her and Blake’s businesses tended to be reciprocal, with Lilah often referring doting dog parents to Blake and vice versa.
Right now, Lilah could barely focus on what Blake was saying but she was nonetheless happy for the attempted distraction.
Something on the water caught her eye and her breath snagged at the sight of the beautiful electric blue bioluminescence blooming among the calmly lapping waves. Lilah had hoped to see this phenomenon while here. She’d fondly imagined herself and Ben walking along a beach at night, holding hands and disturbing the glowing plankton as their footsteps agitated the water. She’d imagined them kissing with stars above their heads, as well as, carpeted at their feet.
Her eyes welled at the bittersweet reminder of how naïve and optimistic she’d been such a short while ago. Now the beautiful bioluminescence seemed to represent everything she’d lost. All she had left was a Ben-shaped hole in her heart and fear for her grandfather’s life eating away at her stomach lining like acid.
She tried to blink away the moisture. But it proved to be an impossible task as the first fat tear overflowed and trailed down her cheek. She lifted a hand to her mouth and tried to stifle her sobs but the pause in Blake’s slightly desperate chatter told her that she’d failed.
“Oh Lilah,” Blake whispered, her voice throbbing with sympathy. “I’m so sorry.”
“I’m fine… I just—”
“Lilah—” The raspy undertone of Ben’s voice—much closer than she’d expected—made Lilah tense and she turned her head to find him standing directly behind her.
Once again, he plucked her phone from her grasp and lifted it to his ear. “Blake? Yes? Uh huh. Yeah, I’ll take it from here.”
Lilah didn’t even care about the rude interruption this time. Not when he gently tugged her up, after shoving her phone into his back pocket, and enfolded her into his strong arms.
She shuddered, grateful to be in his anchoring hold.
“I know you’re scared,” he murmured into her hair. “I should have been more sensitive to that.”
“Aren’t you scared too?” she asked, her voice muffled against his chest. His arms tightened for a moment, before he loosened his hold slightly to lift a hand to her chin and tilt her head up.
“I’m trying not to think about it,” he confessed when she met his eyes. Her lips trembled and she sobbed.
“I can’t think of anything else.”
“Shh, Lilah, whatever happens we’ll face it together, okay?”
“Promise me he’ll be okay, Ben,” she begged, and his hand shifted from her chin to cup her face. He clumsily swiped at her tears with his thumb, but didn’t speak. Refusing to say what she desperately needed to hear.
Her eyes searched his face for any sign of reassurance but all she found was weary resignation.
“Ben?”
“I can’t make that promise, Lilah, you know I can’t. We haven’t even spoken with his doctor yet.”
“How can you be so cold and detached?” she asked, her voice filled with confused despair.
“I’m being pragmatic, and you should know better than to expect me to make irrational promises that we both know would be difficult—if not impossible—for me to keep. Cyrus wouldn’t be in the ICU if it wasn’t serious. So how the hell will empty platitudes from me possibly help anything?”
“Are you even human?” she lamented, placing her hands on his chest to put some distance between their bodies. “Have you never just said something to make yourself or someone else feel better?”
He inhaled sharply and his other hand came up to cradle her cheek. He was now framing her face between his palms, her face tilted upward.
“I’m as human as the next person, only I prefer distraction as a coping mechanism,” he murmured, dipping his head toward hers until his lips brushed against hers while he spoke. “This is the only way I know how to offer you comfort, Lilah.”
SIXTEEN
The chaotic crescendo
The tip of his nose nuzzled along the side of hers, and she swayed toward him, helplessly drawn to his reassuring bulk and heat.
