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He was petting Fifi’s ears, but the movement seemed agitated, almost desperate, as if he were trying to soothe himself, rather than the dog.
“You don’t have the best track record when it comes to confronting pain, Lilah,” he pointed out.
“What the hell makes you say that?”
“Because I watched you break up with several boyfriends over the course of the years and you bottled it up and refused to talk about it. I thought you were following the same pattern with Cyrus. And I wasn’t going to force you to talk about it unless you brought it up first.”
“I don’t have the best track record when it comes to confronting pain?” she repeated incredulously. “Are you joking right now? You never once talked about your parents after coming to live with us. And have you even cried for Gramps? Properly cried? I’m not the one who has a difficult time dealing with challenging emotional situations, Ben. You are, and the only reason you never talked about it was because you weren’t comfortable bringing it up. If you had, if you ever made any attempt to have a real conversation with me, you would have recognized that I had no idea Gramps was sick.
“Instead, you made up this fiction that I was in some lala imaginary land refusing to face up to my grandfather’s imminent death? You’ve spent years underestimating me… thinking the absolute worst of me, and for some reason you believe that I’m up for years more of the same treatment in the future? I think not. If what you say is true, and you really thought I knew about Gramps—and I have my doubts about that—then it’s yet another example of how little you know me. Truthfully though? I think this is just your way of retconning the immediate past to suit your own needs, and paint yourself in a more sympathetic light.
“I’m done. We are done. When are you going to get that through your thick, stubborn skull? I’m not playing games. I don’t need time to cool down. I just need to move on with my life.”
For the first time, she saw her words finally penetrate that aforementioned thick skull…
“Jesus.” His voice was a thready, stunned whisper. “Lilah, please, I can’t lose you.”
“Ben, you don’t give a damn about losing me… you hate losing. Period. And you hate that I’m not falling meekly in line like your many minions at the office. You’ll get over it, and realize that we’re both better off out of this toxic situation.”
Fifi—sensing the tension between them—whined unhappily and Ben instinctively cuddled her close to his chest as if to comfort her. It was a sweet, uncharacteristic gesture that that touched Lilah. God, she was such a sucker sometimes.
“We’ll leave,” he told Lilah in a gruff voice and she gave him a regretful half smile and nodded.
“I think that would be best,” she said. “I’ll text you the contact details of a few great pet photographers in the area if you’re still interested.”
“Yes… uh… I think…” He floundered for a moment before nodding. “Yes, please. I should go.”
He turned to go and then hesitated for a moment, before turning his head to look at her, his eyes dark and turbulent.
“I truly regret everything that has happened, Lilah.”
“So do I.” She hesitated before adding, “And Ben? Please don’t let Fifi be yet another female you promised to love but were only using to further your own needs. She doesn’t deserve it. Please give her the love and care you were unable to give me.”
His lips thinned and he hesitated—looking like he was about to speak—but he frowned darkly and left without another word.
She watched him walk to the front door, that confident, long-legged stride eating up the short distance in just a few steps. The bell on the door tinkled and he was gone.
“Are you okay?” Kirby asked, the gentle concern in her voice dragging Lilah back to her current reality. “That looked really intense.”
“Uh, yes… Fine. I’m sorry. We’re, uhm… in the process of getting divorced.”
Saying it out loud made it feel more real. Then this heartbreak would be behind her and she could finally move forward with her life.
“Oh, God, Lilah, I’m so sorry, I had no idea. I would’ve given you a head’s up but he called and pretty much begged me to slot him in if we had any cancellations. I told him you rarely had any cancellations and that we had a waiting list, but he said he wanted to surprise you with the dog—an early birthday present. So, when we had a slot freed up for today, I didn’t think anything of giving it to him.”
Lilah nodded. “It’s okay, Kirby. It’s not your fault. I know firsthand how persuasive”—manipulative—“he can be. We needed to have a conversation anyway. Do I have any other appointments today?”
