Page 48 of Losing It


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“I’m thinking cinnamon and charred chicken breast.”

Her smile spreads over her cheeks. “You’re cruel.”

“You’re…” My thoughts disappear as my eyes meet hers. She’s so fucking beautiful. She’s always been beautiful, but it’s hitting me differently today.

Being here, with her, is so easy.

I still know everything is wrong.

But it feels far away.

“Owen, um… he’s kind of like you.” She moves to the counter. Rests her ass against it. “He wants everyone to know how outrageous he is.”

“The outrageous doctor?”

“Yeah.” Her lips curl into a smile. “He didn’t come out for a long time. Not because he was embarrassed. Because he knew Mom and Dad would have to pretend they cared that he always had guys over.”

“Did they?”

“No, it’s the usual parental bullshit. Protect the innocent daughter. Let the son do whatever he wants. Not that I needed help. I wasn’t exactly going for it. And they weren’t around to stop me anyway.”

“Was that hard?” I ask.

“My parents working?”

“Yeah.” I scan the fridge. It’s sparse, but there’s enough to make this work. I pull red peppers, green onions, and limes from the fridge. Shrimp from the freezer. “Put on a pot of boiling water.”

“Am I still following orders?”

“Dunno, how good does sir sound on your lips?”

She slides off the counter with a coy smile. “I don’t know, sir. What kind of kinky stuff are you holding back?”

My balls tighten. “Don’t know, angel. Think you might have just awoken some part of me that’s been sleeping.”

She shoots me a please look. “Like there’s anything you haven’t tried.”

“Haven’t tried it with you.”

“Uh-huh.” She grabs a pan from the cabinet, fills it with water, places it on the stove, turns the burner to high.

“What if I’m desperate for you to drop to your knees and beg for my cock?”

“Then you’re greedy.”

A full-blown belly laugh spills from my lips. Fuck, she’s so… She’s just Quinn. “True.”

“Maybe next time. If you’re still into the idea.” She gets out a cutting board and knife. Sets both on the counter. “I’m pretty sure you’re fucking with me.”

“Maybe.”

“Definitely.” She moves to the counter on the other side of the stove. Hoists herself onto it. “You’re good at distracting me.”

“You too.”

“But, um, I like talking to you too. About things besides sex.”

“Me too.”

“It was hard. My parents not being around. I love Owen. He’s a great brother. But he’s not… soft. I mean, not like your t-shirt. Just… He expects a lot from me. Everyone does.”

“Like what?”

“I was supposed to be good at school, sports, socializing, taking care of the house even. And I was decent at school, but I had to work so hard that I didn’t have time for anything else. Not that I really liked sports.” She taps her feet together. “I don’t like balls flying in my face. I mean.” Her cheeks flush. “You know what I mean.”

“I do.” I tap my t-shirt. “Despite appearances.”

Her laugh is easy. Effortless. But it doesn’t erase the furrow in her brow. “It took a while for them to give up on the Quinn the athlete dream. Even after three years of youth soccer.”

“Yeah?”

“I was terrible.” She presses her palms into her thighs. “I kicked the ball out of bounds every game.”

“Isn’t that normal?”

“Maybe. Didn’t feel like it.” Her voice softens. “They never said anything, but I knew. I knew it wasn’t enough.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Thanks. I just… I don’t mean to complain. I love my family. I really do. I just wish…” Her eyes get fuzzy. Like she’s far off someplace. Then she blinks, and her gaze sharpens. “They expect me to be this perfect person. And I’m not.”

“Nobody is.” I heat a pan and coat it with oil.

“Owen is.”

I motion to the cock hungry label on my t-shirt.

She nods. “He’s funny. Social. Successful. And it comes easily. He doesn’t get how hard it is for me.” Her eyes fix on mine. “I killed myself studying all through high school and college. I couldn’t handle pre-med. How could I possibly handle med school?”

“What’s he say?”

“That it will be different. Easier. Because I’ll be able to focus more. But—”

“You don’t believe him?”

Her nod is soft but sure. “I know my limits.”

“You’re the smartest person I know.”

She shakes her head. “You don’t have to say that.”

“You graduated college a year early, Quinn.”

She bites her lip. “Yeah, but… I… It’s all I do. All I did. Until… until now, basically. I have no idea how to have fun.”

“You have fun today?”

She nods.

“And you watch movies.”

“Yeah.” Her eyes go to the cutting board. “But that’s been it for the last three years.”

“Movies and school?”

“Yeah.” Her gaze shifts to the stove. “What are you making?”

“Garlic shrimp.”

Her tongue slides over her lips. “That sounds good.”

“Will be. You have a rice cooker?”

“Yeah. Hold on.” She slides off the counter. Grabs it from a high shelf, fills it, turns it on. “Takes half an hour.”

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