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Ryan had hung back with the horses, and I was guessing it was because he thought I wanted the alone time. What I really wanted was to be near him.
“If you do the brewing, will you leave your work with the horses altogether?” I asked as I sat down and leaned back against a large tree.
Ryan walked toward me, looking thoughtful. He sat and stretched his legs out, crossing them at the ankles. “I don’t think I could ever stop working with horses. They’ve been such a huge part of my life. Hell, I was a little over one year old when my father first put me up on a horse and walked me around. He said he saw my eyes light up the moment the horse started to walk. From that day on, I’ve been addicted to them.”
“What do you mean by that? Addicted to them?”
Ryan shrugged. “I don’t simply love riding or training. I love being near them. There’s something about horses that I connect with. I don’t know how else to explain it. It’s like when I look into their eyes, they understand me and I understand them. Emotion-wise, I mean. Like earlier, when we walked into the barn and Tay whinnied and started to stomp when you stopped at her stall? I knew she was telling me that you needed her.”
My chest felt tight.
“Tay is gentle, never in a hurry. If you want a lazy ride, she’s your girl. You want to hug her neck and bury your face into her and cry, she’ll pull you in with her head and hug you back.”
Looking back at the horse, I saw she was watching us as if she knew Ryan was talking about her.
“She hugs?” I asked.
Ryan smiled. “She does, if you need it.”
Standing, I made my way over to the mare. She took a few paces forward to meet me and stopped only inches away.
“Hi, beautiful,” I whispered as I rubbed between her eyes. Moving to the side, I rested my forehead against her shoulder…and when I felt her head turn and press into me, I squeezed my eyes shut and took in the moment. It was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life.
“They’re pretty good hugs, aren’t they?”
“The best.” I sniffled and fought to hold back my tears.
Tay lifted her head and whinnied when Ryan walked up. He stroked her neck and softly told her what a good girl she was. I watched the two of them interact—and I knew in that moment my heart was sealed. If I suspected I’d been falling in love with Ryan before, now I knew I was for sure.
“Ryan,” I whispered as I moved my hand along Tay’s neck. We both stopped moving when our hands touched.
Dipping his head down, Ryan met my gaze. “Yeah?”
Tell him how you feel, Morgan.
“Thank you for being here for me. I honestly don’t know what I would have done without you. I feel so small and weak right now. That really pisses me off.”
“Listen to me, Morgan. You’re one of the strongest women I’ve ever met. The fact that you won’t let this person cause you to run away is a testament to that. And letting me stay with you isn’t a sign of weakness.”
“It feels like it.”
He shook his head. “It’s not. It’s you being smart and realizing this is something you can’t take on alone, and that’s okay.”
I nodded because I knew he was right. But something had been nagging at me all morning long, and it was driving me insane. “Why me?” I asked.
Ryan searched my face. “I don’t know.”
Lifting my gaze, our eyes met, and I drew in a deep breath. My hand touched his as we both started to stroke Tay again. I was going to take the first step in admitting how I felt about him—and I was scared to death. But if he was going to move in with me—even temporarily—he had a right to know how I felt.
“I need to tell you something…and I’m honestly a little nervous.”
He frowned. “What’s wrong?”
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I drew in a lungful of air and then exhaled. Here goes nothing.
“I’ve had feelings for you, Ryan…for a while now. Feelings other than friendship. And I completely understand if you don’t feel the same way about me, but I…I needed you to know that before you moved in with me. Because I know the last time I hinted at my feelings for you, it pushed you away to Emma.”
Ryan shook his head. “Morgan—”
I held up my hand. “Wait, let me get this out, please, while I have the nerve to do it. It’s really okay, and I don’t want this to ruin our friendship if you don’t feel anything for me. But I thought you deserved to know. I can always have Hunter come and stay with me if that changes things.”
