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“See? Even Maisie is attending the pre-dinner meetings. She doesn’t deal with the underground business at all, but somehow she warrants a spot at the table but not me. And I’m fucking family with a capital F. It’s bullshit, Maddie. Pure fucking bullshit.”
I felt for the man. I really did. He was a friend and didn’t deserve this kind of inner turmoil, but I didn’t want him doing anything stupid, either.
“Okay, Cal, let’s just play this out. Say they’re keeping something from you. Do you think going in there half-drunk and emotional will get you the answers you need?”
“No,” he sighed, his shoulders dropped in resignation. “And you know what? I don’t give a fuck.”
“Well, give a little fuck. Show them the old Cal, the quiet guy who uses his super duper computer ninja skills to help the family.”
“I’m not sure that Cal is ever coming back.”
“Fine, then show them the stoic, still-grieving, single father who uses said ninja skills to help the family. Show them the worst of your grief is behind you. Show them you won’t do something rash and start–I don’t know–just showing up for those meetings again. Get the answers you need.”
He flashed an affectionate smile. “Thanks for listening, Maddie.”
“That’s what friends are for. Now let’s go. I’m starved.”
When we made it to the formal dining room, I realized that Calvin was right. Everyone was already gathered around the table, including Emmett and Nessa. Cal’s jaw clenched with anger, and I worried my little talk didn’t help him at all.
Calvin seethed throughout the meal, and I guessed he felt like the odd man out in his own family, but at least he nursed the same glass of whiskey all through dinner and didn’t snap at anyone.
Not during dinner, anyway.
“Boys, Kat, ladies.” Sadie began with her most authoritative smile.
“I’ve been looking into what happened with Bonnie and have learned that she’d met up with Bishop Mueller on several separate occasions.”
“And certainly not for confession,” Kat added with venomous snark. “She had to have been giving him Ashby's secrets. What else could it be?”
Kat looked around the room with a wide-eyed innocence she didn’t possess, and I realized this was all a dog and pony show. A show put on for the benefit of Cal.
He snorted his displeasure and disbelief at his family’s lousy attempt at play-acting. “Shut the fuck up, Kat.”
Terry stood, angry and glaring at his soon-to-be brother-in-law. “I know you’re grieving, Calvin Ashby, but watch how you talk to my lady.”
Calvin blurted out, “Fuck you, Terry. She’s been my sister longer than she’s ever been your lady.”
“Boys. Shut it. Terry, sit the fuck down. You might be family, but you’re not that kind of family,” Sadie said, the reminder as clear as day that there were Ashbys and then there was the rest of us. A reminder I wouldn’t forget anytime soon.
Sadie glared at Terry as he sat back down and gave Calvin the evil eye, an eerily calm anger in her voice. “I’m just saying what we’re all thinking.”
“Are you?” Calvin snarled back at her. “Is she?”
He aimed the question at Jasper, who held his gaze without answering the question.
“What the fuck secrets could Bonnie possibly have to tell Mueller or anyone else? What did you tell her, Katherine? Or how about you, Ma? Did you get too fucking high or drunk and spill family secrets to Bonnie?”
“Cal. Respect.” Jasper kept his voice lethally calm.
Calvin stood and knocked over his chair as he began to pace the length of the dining room.
“Maybe it was when Bonnie would walk into the room and every last one of you would shut up. Maybe it was when you all treated her like a piece of shit? Yeah, that’s it. That’s when she found out family secrets that Mueller or maybe his buddy, Rhymer, would want to know. That has to be it, right? Right?”
“Calvin, please,” Jasper said as he rubbed his fingers across his forehead.
“What is it, Jas? I’m just trying to figure out what secrets my wife could have possibly told our enemies when all of you went out of your way to make sure she never felt as if she belonged here.”
He shook his head, snorting his disgust.
“You’re all so full of shit. I’m outta here.”
If their own flesh and blood didn’t matter, where did that put me?
CHAPTER TWENTY
Jameson
“So, are you back to being a real cop or are you still playing grab ass with the Feds?”
Leave it to Jenkins to say exactly what was on his mind. He flashed a playful smile and waited for my answer.
“Fuck if I know anymore,” I told him honestly. After the outburst last week and telling Sarge I’d be back in uniform and ready for training, I thought that would be it for my time with the Feds. But Beck or maybe it was Marshall, had pulled some strings.
