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“Nope.” I shook my head again, feeling my determination rise. I didn’t need to talk to anyone about this decision because it was mine. Only mine. I would make this decision the same as nearly every other decision I made in my life, on my own.
I cried myself to sleep, sad to say goodbye to someone who was never even here. I woke up the next day perfectly settled with my decision. I made an appointment at the clinic first thing, and then I took the longest, hottest shower of my life.
I would take care of this on my own. I was going to terminate my pregnancy and wouldn’t tell anyone.
Talk about fucking my life up without even trying.
Suddenly, I had a lot more sympathy for my mom.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Jameson
After three hours of fitful sleep, I woke up exhausted. Pregnant. Madison was fucking pregnant, which wasn’t as bad a thing to me as it was to her, but the fact that she needed to figure out what she wanted to do, made me sad. I knew what those words meant, and I didn’t like it.
A baby changed everything, and we needed to talk. We needed to sit down like adults and talk about this baby. Talk about the pregnancy and figure out—together—what we would do. I was in love with her, and I knew she was thinking about aborting our baby.
Jameson: Maddie, call me.
I shot that text off to her and hopped in the shower before I was late for work. Agent Beck would be up my ass all day if I showed up late, and I was in no mood for her shit. Not today. I would find a way to make it through my shift today, and then I’d go straight to Maddie because we had to talk.
For now, I had to keep my head in the police game and see what progress I could make on this double homicide.
Entering the precinct, the sounds of the phones ringing and the scent of stale coffee and perfume helped settle my shit a little.
I settled into my desk and started going through the files to see if there were any unsolved murders with the same firearm. I didn’t think we’d find those guns, ever, but if the case should somehow make it to a courtroom, I’d have to prove that I did the leg work.
“You’re off this investigation.” Agent Beck stood in front of my desk holding a stack of files, with an arrogant smile on her freckled face. “You’re not as helpful as I thought you’d be.”
“I’m not in the mood for your shit today, Beck.” She could stand there as arrogant as she wanted, but I wasn’t going anywhere.
“You’re off the case, Ellison, so you don’t have to deal with my shit today or any other day. Have a nice life.” She took a step away from the desk, practically bouncing away when my words stopped her in her fucking tracks.
“I’m not off this case until it’s been resolved.” I did too much work on this case to let this bitch screw it up for me now.
“Yeah? How do you think that’s going to work, rookie?”
“Easy,” I told her and leaned back in my chair, arms folded over my chest. “You kick me off this investigation, and my next stop is to the ADIC to let him know about your conflict of interest in this case. A conflict that could lead to a very fucking embarrassing wrongful conviction.”
Beck leaned forward, another cocky smile lighting up her face. “If you go to the ADIC to make accusations, you’ll need proof.”
I laughed. “You willing to bet this career-making case that I don’t have receipts?” I had Beau digging into Beck’s past because right now all I had were suspicions and theories, but if anyone could find what I needed, it was Beau.
Or I could take up the offer from Jasper Ashby and get Calvin on her case. He was a damn good hacker. And the reason why the FBI hadn’t been able to crack their security. Or, if I really wanted to get down and dirty, Jag and Vivi were just a phone call away.
I smiled. This bitch had no idea who could back me.
Beck watched me carefully, trying hard to see past my steely gray eyes and cocky grin, but she didn’t get anything. “Really?”
“Yeah, really.”
“You really want to go there?” she asked.
“Yep.” Big smile. I enjoyed this more than I thought I would.
“Fine,” she growled. “You can stay on the case.”
“I know I can.”
Her blue gaze narrowed and after a few seconds, her shoulders relaxed in resignation. “Whatever. I’m trying to track down one of the Black Jacks, Dealio. Wanna come?”
I shook my head because that was a pointless errand. I couldn’t tell her that Savannah had sold his ass to one of the cartels.
