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“You don’t need to put on a brave face for me, Miles. I wouldn’t be okay if I was in your shoes, so whatever you need from me right now, I’m here, whether it’s just to be present, or drive, or listen.”
I feel like a deflated balloon. “Do you mind driving?”
“Not at all.” She unbuckles her seatbelt, unwraps Prince Francis from around her neck, sets him on the dashboard and exits the car, closing the door behind her, presumably so Prince Francis doesn’t get any ideas about doing a runner.
I do the same and meet her at the hood.
It’s cold today, the air puffing out in foggy bursts before disappearing.
She tips her head up, her expression full of compassion and sadness. She opens her arms. “You look like you could use a hug.”
I don’t even care that I’m so emotionally transparent. I wrap my arms around her, and hers wind around my waist. “Thank you.” I lay my cheek on top of her head.
“No thanks needed. I’m sorry that was so tough.” She squeezes.
“You make it better,” I mutter.
And it’s true. She does. I don’t know how this happened, or when we shifted from mutual disdain to like, but Kitty appeared in my life at exactly the right time. I send a thank-you to the powers that be and the internet for putting her on my screen and in my path.
I’m not sure how long we stand there, but eventually the muffled angry meows from inside the car force us apart. Kitty gets behind the wheel and Prince Francis immediately takes up residence on her shoulders again, grooming her hair, then shaking his head around when it gets stuck to his tongue. I attempt to relocate him to my lap, but he’s determined to be an accessory.
“I’m so sorry you had to deal with that.”
Kitty pulls out of the hospital parking lot and heads toward my mother’s house. “It’s really okay, Miles. She was actually quite pleasant but mostly confused. I understand there’s a very different side to that, especially when she’s confronted with reality.”
I let my head fall back. “Yeah, that’s been the biggest challenge. Telling her Toby is gone sets her off. It sucks to lie to her, but I don’t want to send her over the edge all the time.”
“There’s no winning in a situation like that, for either of you. It hurts to see people you care about falling apart like that.”
“I’m guessing you know this from experience, what with losing your dad when you were younger.” I realize I need this kind of connection, someone who can relate to what I’m dealing with, even if it’s not quite the same. Both of us have big holes in our lives created by the absence of people we love.
Kitty nods. “My mom really struggled when he passed away, which makes sense. They were best friends. They had the kind of love you see in Hallmark movies, and they made you believe in soul mates and forevers. He would literally do anything for her. The sun rose and set on my mother and my sister and me. Was it the same for you with your family?”
I think about that for a minute. What life was like growing up, how suddenly everything shifted. “Toby and I were close. He was more athletic than I was, better at sports, more of a natural, where I had to work hard. He played hockey like I did. And we always played together in the driveway. My mom would keep her car in the garage so we didn’t put dents in it.”
Kitty makes a face. “Did she learn that by trial and error?”
I chuckle. “Oh yeah. Toby hit the driver’s side door and put a solid dent in it, but I didn’t want him to get in trouble, because he was always the more mischievous of the two of us. So I said I’d been the one to do it. I don’t think our mom believed us, but after that she parked the car in the garage.”
“It sounds like you had a great relationship with her.”
“I did. We all did. Obviously, our family wasn’t perfect, but we were good. And then we lost Toby, and all those good memories were overshadowed by all the bad things that happened afterward. My mother fell apart. And my dad . . . he was devastated.” I shake my head, thinking back to that day. “They blocked off the entire street when Toby got hit. Our neighbors were the first ones on the scene because it happened in front of their house. I heard it from inside the house, and when I went outside Toby was . . . his helmet hadn’t been on properly. Sometimes he’d loosen it because he hated the chin strap.” I pause, choking on emotions. “It was clear he was gone, but I still wanted to believe he was okay. My next-door neighbor stopped me from running across the street to get to him, and someone else went and got my mother in the backyard. By the time my dad got home, there were police cars everywhere and an ambulance. I think my mother broke that day. It was probably the same for my dad, but he had to keep it together when my mother couldn’t. When Toby died, so did our family.”
