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Moments later, Eliana was in the upstairs suite which had been her home since coming to Qazhar. It was luxurious apartment that took up most of the upper floor of the embassy building. She knew the apartment had been redecorated for Eliana's visit. It had a freshness and simplicity which she liked. The furnishings were tasteful, white and elegant. It had been set out to resemble as closely as possible one of her apartments back in Zahram.
Since leaving earlier that morning, the flowers which Eliana liked to have in her room had been refreshed from the daybefore. The doors to the balcony were wide open and the fresh breeze that filled the room was scented with the new blooms.
It felt good to be in what Eliana considered to be her temporary home away from the palace back in Zahram. Maybe after what had happened this morning, she wouldn't be here much longer. She pushed that thought out of her mind for the moment. She felt suddenly weary, as if the emotion of her encounter with Kadeem had drained her.
She heard Sayirah busying herself in the bathroom. The sound of running water sounded incredibly tempting. She couldn't wait to get into the water and let all the tension drain out of her body.
Other servants raced into the room, asking the princess if she needed anything done for her. Did she need her hair brushed? Did she need someone to help her undress? Did she need something to eat or drink? Did she need someone to lay out her change of clothes?
It was all part of her daily routine. A life to which she was completely adjusted. A life she was totally used to. One that most people would envy, and one they would only dream of living. She reminded herself every day of just how lucky she was.
Was that one of the reasons she didn't want to consider marriage? Did she want to hold onto the privileged life she enjoyed so much? Did that just make her what so many people thought she was? A spoiled, self-centered princess with virtually no other redeeming features? Because weren't those the kinds of things people said about her?
Eliana rejected that thought. No-one knew what she was really like. How could they? She lived such a private life, they couldn't possibly know her real character. She was capable of so much more than people gave her credit for.
Sayirah left the apartment once everything had been arranged to Eliana's satisfaction. Eliana knew that Sayirah understood her every need. She'd been with Eliana for a five years now. Eliana didn't know what she would do without the help of the young woman.
Of course, Eliana knew that her reliance on servants like Sayirah only confirmed some of the taunts which Kadeem had thrown her way. That she was a spoiled princess. That she couldn't look after herself without a huge entourage of people to cater to her every need.
Eliana thought about those criticisms as she got undressed for the bath. Kadeem didn't know her. Didn't even know what he was talking about when it came to passing judgment on her. Something he seemed quite comfortable doing, all too often, for her liking. He could be so infuriating, she told herself.
She got into the huge bath and sank into the warm water, stretching out her legs. She groaned with pleasure as she felt all the tension ease out of every one of her muscles.
For some reason, the pleasure in her muscles made her think about Kadeem. She recalled how he'd made her feel back at the palace. The ecstasy of that kiss was fresh in her mind. She could still feel the way his touch had ignited every one of her nerves.
Of course, she'd been kissed before. More than that. By many other potential royal companions. Because that was all they had been intended to be. Companions to parade in public. And if she'd married any of those men, then she would have really been involved in an arrangement with a guarantee of an emotionless life. There would have been an emptiness to that life.
She knew of other such royal marriages which had been based on social connections and convenience. She'd heard stories. Horrible tales of unhappiness and frustration. Secret mistresses. Furtive liaisons.
Eliana sighed. Was that why this whole business of an arranged marriage worried her so much? Was she simply resisting that kind of loveless existence? A life of lies? And why was that even so frightening? Everyone else lived like that, didn't they?
So why shouldn't she?
Eliana knew the answer to that question.
All her life, she'd dreamed that one day she would fall in love. That her knight in shining armor would come to claim her. And that it would all be perfect. Like a fairy tale. Unlike the stark reality she'd heard so much about.
Eliana sank down and lowered her head into the water. When she sat back up, rivulets of water drained off her head. Since she'd been told to come to Qazhar, she'd felt that every one of her illusions about love and life had been washed away.
And now there was Kadeem. He had gone and done the one thing he shouldn't have done. He'd kissed her.
Gloriously and temptingly.
And he was threatening to turn their convenient arrangement on its head. He was going to jeopardize everything, she told herself. Didn't he understand there was no future for them both?
Even as she played with that thought, she knew it wasn't true. Knew that the route he was tempting her down was one that she found vaguely tempting. For a moment, she wondered what it would be like to spend more time with Kadeem. What it would be like to allow him to get even closer to her.
She laid her head back against the marble of the bath and considered all the possibilities. Images flickered into her mind; sensations ignited in her body; emotion swelled.
Then, just as quickly, doubt seized hold of her. A hard knot of anxiety twisted in her middle and her throat tightened.
Wasn't he just like all the rest of her suitors?
Instantly, she felt indignation about Kadeem's actions at the gazebo. He'd treated her like something he believed he had the right to claim. He'd been too eager to take his own pleasure.
And now he wanted to announce a bogus engagement? One that satisfied the ancient protocol.
How could he even dare contemplate making such an announcement? Even if it only meant she and Kadeem would continue to spend time together in some kind of fake arrangement designed to keep both of their families happy.
