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“I’d made an agreement that I felt I had to keep. The baby was here. She was healthy and from all accounts, happy.” I tucked my fists under my armpits to keep myself still. Even now, the rage at what I’d been dumb enough to agree to boiled under my skin like lava. “I was eighteen. Worked at Robbie’s pizza joint. What did I know about raising a baby?”
Except I’d known more about raising kids than a lot of my peers at that age. I had two younger brothers and a younger sister. I’d always been hands-on with them because of our busy household. My mom sometimes needed help with the younger kids, and I’d usually enjoyed spending time with them.
Well, most of the time, unless bodily fluids including excessive tears were involved. And sometimes my brothers wanted to tag along with me when I just wanted to catch a movie or play touch football with my friends. But overall, I’d never minded kids.
And I sure as fuck had wanted my own.
Mav narrowed his eyes as he tapped his boot against the wall. “Isn’t your family like the Brady Bunch?”
I had to laugh. “Not exactly.”
“But you weren’t clueless about kids, man.”
“Look, I wasn’t given a choice, okay? I did what I felt I had to do. And Reagan has grown up so great. She’s a straight A student, plays piano, wants to major in Broadcast Journalism in college so she can maybe be an on-air reporter someday. I might hate all the years I missed with her, but I’m grateful she nosed around in her mother’s personal papers one day and found a ripped out yearbook page with my name and picture with a heart.”
A dagger would’ve been more appropriate since she’d ripped out my damn heart.
“And then what?”
“Reagan looked me up and called me.”
“And asked you if you were her daddy?”
The waning sun as sunset approached seared my eyes so I closed them. I was sure that wasn’t the only cause of my sudden headache. “You’re not far off. Her mom wouldn’t answer any questions about it, so she decided to ask someone else. She found her birth certificate in the safe deposit box.”
“Oh, Jesus. She found your name on it?”
“No. The father’s name was blank. So since I’d been her mom’s junior prom date, she guessed maybe…” I thunked my head against the brick. It did nothing to alleviate my pain, either emotional or now physical. But it did bring clarity. “I owe this story to Honey and my family before you. You understand.”
“I don’t understand how any woman could do this to the father of her child.”
I tucked my hands in my pockets. What was I supposed to say to that?
“But I appreciate you’re going to tell my sister. She’s only twenty-four and if she sticks with you, what, she’ll become a mother figure to a woman almost her own age?” Slowly, Mav shook his head. “Long distance no less.”
“Not so long distance. Reagan’s mom is getting married and moving cross-country so Reagan wants to move here for college.” I gave him a thin smile. “But if it’s any consolation, I doubt Honey is in for all that at her age.”
“Holy shit. Honey is going to be blindsided.”
“I’ll tell her as gently as I can. I’m not going to make it hard for her. If she wants to end things, I’ll accept it.”
“And if she doesn’t? Then what? Instant family?”
“I guess we will see how things go.” Voicing the very thing that kept me up at night burned my throat. “I’m hoping to introduce her to Reagan this Sunday when I bring her to my family dinner. And I’m hoping like hell she doesn’t want to give up on us. She matters to me, Mav, a hell of a lot.”
THIRTEEN
Christian was being weird.Or I was being weird, because I couldn’t stop overanalyzing every little detail between us.
Granted, we were still super new. We’d only been getting naked on a regular basis for three weeks now, so I was far from an expert on the man. But even in that few weeks, once we’d started seeing each other more often, we’d developed a rhythm and I didn’t just mean when our clothes came off.
First, we spent a lot of time together. Mickey was threatening to find a new bestie. I’d suggested a double date and Christian had seemed okay with it, but that required Mickey settling on one guy long enough to make reservations somewhere.
And it also required us to spend some time outside his place or mine before we tumbled into bed.
Or on the floor.
Or against the stone tiles of his surround shower…or even one memorable time in his indoor pool. He had remarkable skills underwater.
