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I pressed my phone against my chest until my heartbeat leveled. That one word would forever be my undoing. It still floored me she said it so easily. That she accepted me calling her sweetheart and moving into the role I’d thought I never would.
Not just with Reagan, but period. Not with another child either. I’d been single for so long that I’d accepted that part of life was closed off to me.
Now I’d begun to start thinking things I probably shouldn’t. I didn’t know Honey’s long-term plans. We hadn’t even been together a month yet. I was jumping the gun.
But she made me want things. As stubborn as the hope growing inside me was, I wasn’t about to pressure her. If her thoughts were tracking in any way similar to mine, she would let me know.
Especially regarding Reagan. I didn’t intend to influence Honey’s decisions. It was all going to be her choice.
Quickly, I replied to my mom that we’d be there Sunday, a little early if possible. I wanted to talk to her and my father about Reagan in private first. But before I could do that, I had to talk to Honey. Talk about bad timing if she was sick, but it couldn’t be helped.
Because you delayed far too long, jackass.
I read Honey’s text last.
Honey
Hey sorry, I had to bail on work. Just felt sick all of a sudden. I’ll be fine. Just be careful today, okay? What is this stakeout business? Don’t make me worry about you. If you get back late, don’t worry about stopping by unless you want to. Xo
I didn’t even consider she wanted her space. Just needed to take care of her.
I’m bringing you soup. It’s a cold, raw night out there so I hope you’re covered in blankets and getting your rest.
Only after I sent the text did I consider she was brushing me off. Politely, but still the same. But I still wanted to see with my own eyes she was okay. I had to.
“Looks who’s finally back,” Mav said, sitting on the corner of my desk.
Inwardly, I groaned. “Do you need something? I’ve got paperwork to take care of and then I’m heading out to bring Honey some soup.”
He tapped his fingers on my blotter. “Just so you know I told her about Reagan,” he said in a low voice.
I dropped in my chair. “What? Why?”
Although the cowardly part of me was grateful he’d broken the ice about the subject. I hadn’t relished doing that at all.
Was that what was really behind her sickness? She didn’t want to deal with me?
“How did she take it?”
“Take a guess.”
I leaned back in my chair. “Fuck, I’ve messed every bit of this up.”
“It’s not all your fault. I don’t know what I’d do if I knew I had a kid that I couldn’t raise. That her mother didn’t want me around.” He wouldn’t meet my eyes. “I’m not saying I agree with you keeping it from my sister, but I get why you didn’t announce it on the first date.”
“Especially since we didn’t really start with a first date.”
He held up a hand. “Look, I’m giving you an inch. Don’t think you can take a yard.”
“Noted. I really care about her.” When Mav slanted me a glance, I hissed out a breath. “Actually, care doesn’t really cover it but I’ve had a long day and I don’t feel like going to see her with a black eye.”
“You think I’d give you a black eye for being in love with my sister? More like I’d give you a black eye if you weren’t in love with her and were leading her on.”
“I’ve tried not to do that. She’s so young and I don’t want my needs to box her in.”
“Do not even go there, pal. These chat sessions do not mean I want to be clued in to your freaky sex games.”
I didn’t mean to laugh. I shouldn’t have. But it rolled out of me as if my life wasn’t one shitstorm after another. “I didn’t mean that way. I’d say in that department we are just fine.”
