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The woman was in love with love, and nothing made her happier than when her kids found their person. Even if in Travis’s case, he’d found his person at least half a dozen times. As long as everyone parted as friends, my mom always understood that sometimes it took a few tries to get things right.
But in my circumstance, it was hard to see how I could’ve been more wrong.
“Thanks. Early days yet but we love each other, so I have no complaints. Neither does she, at least that I know of. Other than we both have too large families.”
My mother just laughed. “Happens easily enough, you’ll see.”
“Mom, I got a girl pregnant in high school. We have a daughter. I’d like for her to meet all of you tomorrow.” At the silence on the other end of the line, I rushed ahead. “Honey and Reagan seem to be getting along okay. Honey is so great with her. They went to the store so Honey can get ingredients for a fruit tart, and she knew I was worried about Reagan driving there in this weather, so she offered to take her. She’s a natural.”
Nothing. No reply. I didn’t expect her to jump up and down at this news, but I guess I’d expected something—even if I couldn’t have had any less finesse in the telling if I’d tried.
“Mom?”
“I’m here,” she said quietly.
“Do you hate me?” I tried to keep my voice even, but when it cracked on hate, it was impossible to hide.
“My sweet baby boy, I could never hate you even for a minute.”
I let out a long breath.
“Did you just find out about this girl’s existence? Reagan, did you say?”
“Yes, Reagan.” I pressed my fingers to my temple. “No. I knew about her from the beginning.”
“You knew about her and never told me.” She cleared her throat. “Does your father know?”
“No, of course not. I wouldn’t ask him to keep my secret, especially not from you.” Absently, I reached down to rub Boomer’s ears as he rested his head on my knee. We’d fed him dinner a couple hours ago and after that, he’d gone up to hang out with Reagan in her new bedroom.
The simple domesticity of that had made my heart feel too full for my chest. But now I just felt…empty.
Hurting my mother was one hundred times worse than hurting myself.
“I know this isn’t what you wanted for me,” I began. “Why do you think I never told you or Dad? Or anyone else for that matter?”
“Christian, I may have hoped you’d do things the traditional way, but I never expected you to not take the responsibility you’d been given. Having a child is a gift. If anything, you were alwaystooresponsible. Look at Travis. Even after he broke up with Carrington’s mother, he never broke up with Carrington.”
“It wasn’t my fault, Mom. I told you I messed up this story. I wanted her. I wanted Penelope. I bought a ring. I would never have abandoned either one of them. Forever was all I wanted.”
“Then?” my mother demanded.
“She didn’t want forever with me.”
Briefly, I ran through what had happened. I didn’t leave anything out. I told her the gritty truth and that I’d willfully chosen to hide my failures rather than admit I had a daughter out there who didn’t know I existed.
“But she sought you out. She calls you Dad now.”
“Yeah.” I closed my eyes to try to force back the emotion. “Honey and I argued today and she helped mediate. Reagan told her to come find me. I love her, Mom, and I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make up for not being there. It doesn’t matter that I tried. Obviously, I didn’t try hard enough.”
“And Honey’s okay with her?”
“Yeah.” I cleared my throat to try to force back the jaggedness inside me. “She’s so good with her, Mom. She’s barely older than Reagan and they’re already friends. She’s a fucking miracle. Sorry,” I tacked on automatically.
“She’s a sweet girl. Honey. I’m sure Reagan is too, though I’m no fan of her mother. You never deserved that sort of treatment.”
“No, I didn’t, but I also didn’t put my foot down. I let her drive me away. Things are different now. Reagan has made the decision to have me in her life, especially now that she’s moving here for school.”
The security system went off as someone sped up the driveway, and my heart stampeded in my ears as I went to check the cameras. Honey and Reagan were quick. “Hey, Mom, I gotta go. The girls must be back—”
