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Her brows knit in confusion. “You didn’t hurt me.”
“But I will.”
“You’re everything I want but cannot have.” My heart aches as she whispers those words, my words. “Why can’t you have me? Why are you so set on pushing me away?” When I don’t answer, she asks, “What do you want, Simon?”
“I want to be with you.”
She lets out a contented sigh, tilting her head again, inviting me back to her, inviting me in. This kiss is slow and deep and careful. I’m making a decision. Granting myself permission to enjoy this moment, to accept the goodness that’s flowing out of her and seeping into me.
Part of what I said is true: I don’t know Charlotte. Don’t know her favorite food or color. Don’t know what makes her laugh. Don’t know where she sees herself in five years, ten years. And for the first time in as long as I can remember, having everything in my life nailed down, mapped out, every action correlating to the timeline I’ve set for achieving my goals—it doesn’t seem all that important.
I want this, her, now.
She shifts when she hears a voice getting closer, calling my name. “It’s just Garth,” I whisper. “Ignore him.”
She shakes her head and lets out a frustrated breath as she checks her phone. “It’s past eleven. I’m driving and my friend Daisy’s parents are beyond overprotective. I have to get her back home.”
“Is Daisy the puker?” She nods and smiles. “You’re a good friend to her.”
“I don’t think I’d even get a B-minus in the friend department, but I’m making an effort to be better at it.” She shakes her head. “That sounded stupid.”
“It doesn’t.” I plant a kiss on her forehead when I say it. Fact is that I do know Charlotte. I know what it’s like to come from circumstances that are different from all the wide-eyed innocent people around you. It makes you feel alien, makes you feel like a fraud when you do your best to try and fit in. People like Garth and Daisy—people who’ve never experienced the dark—they mean well but they just don’t get it.
I take a step back when I hear Garth’s voice again. I want to strangle that moron. She smiles and starts to walk ahead of me back the party. But I don’t want her to go, so I take her wrist and turn her back to me. “Let me take you somewhere after work tomorrow?” She doesn’t answer right away. “Unless, that is, you’re going horseback riding or something.”
That earns me a full-bellied laugh and a push. “No, I’m not going horseback riding.” She studies me for a moment before nodding. “I’ll go out with you tomorrow.”
Chapter Ten
Charlotte
He’s sitting in his car when I show up for my shift at the diner. He’s half an hour early for work, parked there, keeping watch to make sure I’m safe.
Oh my Lord.
That phrase played on repeat in my mind as I drove Sarah and Daisy home last night. I didn’t hear one thing they said, just their tipsy giggles. I was lost in my own blissed out fog.
I can’t stop thinking about you.
I want to kiss you.
I want to be with you.
I’ve never had someone look at me that way before. It was desperate, the way Simon looked at me. And the way he looked after we kissed, it was as if I’d helped to settle something turbulent inside of him. As if my kiss had granted him some measure of peace.
“Good morning.”
“You want to get in?” he asks, looking uncertain as he finishes rolling down the window.
“Can’t.” I shake my head, unable to contain the smile that spreads across my face. “Here,” I say, passing him a paper cup and a muffin. “You don’t have to come here early, you know…Marley opens with me now and Denny’s here.”
“I want to.” He takes a bite of the muffin and grins as he leans his head back, talking around the mouthful. “Mmm, it’s still warm.”
I’d gladly trade places with that muffin. When he takes a sip of his coffee, I ask if I got it right: milk light, no sugar. He nods and asks, “You remembered? I think I ordered from you once and that was a long time ago.” I try to shrug it off like it’s nothing, like I remember everyone’s order, even though I don’t.
“Can you wait a few minutes for me today, or do you want me to pick you up at your house after I’m done?”
His question comes out sounding casual, but I read the uncertainty in his expression. We both know option number two, well, it just isn’t an option.
