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“I’m so proud of you,” my mother says as she slides a soda and the snacks across the table towards him.
He smiles at my mother and shakes his head, because really? Only a mother could tell a convicted felon she’s proud of him while sitting in the visiting room of a correctional facility.
“Yes, Timmy, I am. You’re turning it around for yourself…Taking classes, mentoring the boys who are trying to get their GEDs.”
He shrugs. “Well I’m doing it out of spite. It makes me feel better to know I’ll be getting my college degree thanks to the generosity of the Pennsylvania Corrections Bureau.”
“What are you majoring in?”
Sometimes things are so sad that I smile at the irony of it all. Here’s my mother, talking like Timmy’s heading off to freshman orientation on the grounds of some leafy, idyllic campus, while every time I look up, I take in his fellow inmates, some of whom look like jacked-up soulless killing machines.
“Earth to Simon,” Timmy says as he snaps his fingers in front of my face.
“Sorry, what?”
He looks over his shoulder, taking in my view. “I’m good, I promise,” he says softly. “So, I want to hear about you. How are your prospects looking?”
“I got the scholarship.”
If we were home, I’m certain Timmy would’ve let out a whoop and grabbed me into a bear hug. In this environment, though, you condition yourself, school your expressions. You never look to draw attention, so Timmy just nods and says, “I knew you would.”
He’s happy for me, and for some reason that hurts like a motherfucker.
“I’m leaving mid-August. I need to settle in and find myself a job before classes start.”
“Does the scholarship cover room and board?”
“Most of it,” I lie. I’m seriously stressed out about the amount of money I’m going to need just to cover my books and living expenses, but I’m not letting my mother in on that. She’s got enough on her plate already.
My mother takes my hand. “I’m glad you’ll be near Michael. And you could always live with him if you don’t like the dorms, right?”
“I’m sure the dorms will be fine.” I check with Tim and see he’s smiling too. “You have any access to social media in here?” I ask him.
“No, those sites are blocked. But Mike sends me letters, he’s been preparing me.”
“He’s careful about what he posts but it’s pretty obvious. I suppose he’s gearing up for a big announcement.”
“Yeah, like we don’t already know.” Timmy laughs, shaking his head. “I should just put him out of his misery…Ask him when the wedding is.”
The two of us are sharing a laugh as my mother looks between the two of us, lost. “What are you two talking about?”
Tim cocks his head to the side, fixing my mother with a smile. “We’re just wondering when Mike is finally going to bust out of the closet.”
She closes her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose. “I know. He talks about his good friend Brandon all the time. Does he think we’re foolish?” She looks between us. “Does he think we won’t accept him?”
Both of us reach out at the same time and take one of her hands.
“No, Mom,” Tim says. “He knows we love him. He’s just gotta go about this in his own way. When he’s ready, he’ll tell us.”
“Well, I may be crashing at his place for a few weeks in August, so I’m thinking the cat’s gonna be outta the bag pretty soon.”
“I could wring that boy’s neck…Running off like that to Chicago.”
“Yeah, well, if I was gay, last place on Earth I’d want to live is Fayette County.”
“Simon’s right, Mom. People in our town made it clear his kind wasn’t welcome.”
“People knew in high school?”
