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Olivia is a happy kid by nature, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen her as bubbly as she’s been since Skylar’s been in the picture.
I try not to let myself go there, but this summer was like playing house. With the exception of taking in two night games with the guys to cheer my Pirates on over the Reds, I didn’t do a whole lot. Nights spent grilling in the backyard, going for ice cream and watching a movie on the outdoor screen were some of the best times I’ve ever had.
But I’d remind myself that while I’m pushing thirty, Skylar isn’t, so I’d nudge her to go out and meet up with her friends. Pilar and Devon, two of her dance buddies, were the only ones who stayed in town for the summer, but Sky preferred to have them over here to hang out rather than meet up with them when they were going out to the bars or clubs.
“It’s not really my scene,” she’d say, and I came to realize that she wasn’t bullshitting me, it just wasn’t.
Sky likes to stay busy and she’s always on the move, but she likes simple things like cooking, reading a book by the pool and spending time with her family.
Every once in a while she’d have a glass of wine or a beer with me after dinner, but she’d turn the offer down more times than she said yes, and she always stopped at one.
I stopped at one, too. Having her around all the time was great, but I’m not going to lie, it was a challenge. Skylar hugging my daughter close, Skylar kissing Olivia’s head every time she snapped her into her booster seat, Skylar dancing in the kitchen when she thought no one was watching, and Skylar out by the pool alone at night just staring at the night sky—I was fighting every day against everything I wanted.
It’s been the hottest summer on record, and while our central air conditioning keeps the house nice and comfortable, the pool house isn’t hooked up to it. There are a few ceiling fans to cool the space, but that’s it. I told her to take the guest room next to Olivia’s in the main house more times than I could count, but she refused every time.
So along with all the other things I’ve had to contend with these past few weeks, I’ve been stuck with a visual of Skylar out in that pool house with her sweat-slicked skin, twisting and then kicking off the sheets.
I know what she wants. Know she’s been trying her best to ignore this undeniable attraction and not act on those impulses, same as me. And in this case I’m thankful that trying your best doesn’t always guarantee success.
The one night we did go and cross that line, it was Skylar’s doing.
I shake myself out of that memory, same as I’ve done more times than I can count over the past few days.
From the review mirror I see Olivia staring out her window looking unsettled. “What’s on your mind, baby girl?”
“Sky said she’s nervous for school today.”
“She did?”
Olivia fixes me with that look, the one that tells me I’m being thick. “Everyone is nervous for new things.”
“Sky has no reason to be nervous. She’s going to make a great teacher, don’t you think?”
“Can I call her?”
“Um…” I check the clock on the dashboard. “She doesn’t have to be in until eight-thirty, so yeah, you can give her a quick call.”
I pull into a spot at Olivia’s school and hand her the phone after hitting Sky’s contact. I hear Sky answer a moment later with the enthusiastic greeting she always gives Libs that makes her feel special.
It’s so damn cute when Olivia says, “Don’t be nervous, ok?” that I have to stifle a laugh. And when Skylar ends the call telling Olivia to have thebestfirst day of kindergarten everand that she loves her, I swallow back the emotion.
She’s said it to her hundreds of times, and while it used to make me uneasy, now it makes me feel content, fortunate—or maybe hopeful is a better way to describe it.
I still wrestle with whether or not getting involved with Skylar is a good idea. She can say whatever she wants, tell me I’m overthinking this and denying her something she’s choosing, but the facts don’t lie. I’m a parent, and getting involved with me is different from dating a man who’s at the same stage in life that she’s at.
But maybe it’s because she’s put it out there, or maybe it’s because I’m selfish, but I just don’t have it in me to hold back anymore.
I want.
And I’m ready to take.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Skylar
The ball is officially in Leo Hale’s court.
The night before I left, I didn’t suggest, didn’t just put it out there. No, I left him no doubt. He knows how I feel and he knows what I want.
