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“Not this camper,” she murmurs against my neck as her hand slides down the front of my board shorts. “Andglamp-sites don’t have bugs or wild animals.”
“Is that so?” I don’t even know what we’re talking about anymore. I just know that her hand feels so, so good, and I cannot wait until the sun sets and I’ve got this girl all to myself.
Experienced. Some people would call me that. And I’m not Sarah’s first, so she’s quote-unquote experienced, too. But we’re not. I was a scared kid my first time. Something was taken from me. And the few experiences I’ve had since that awful time in my life weren’t paired with anything real. But this? I still can’t believe this girl desires me. She looks at me as if I’ve hung the moon sometimes, and she lets me know that she sees me as someone who’s worthwhile and deserving.
Sarah told me last week that I was her person.You’re my person, she said as she rested her tired head on my chest. She’d just told me about her latest phone call with Grace, and how nervous she was to tell Sarah that her and Owen are expecting.Did she really think I’d be upset, or…jealous? That I’d be anything but happy for them?I listen mostly, as she can and does work it out on her own every time.
I want to be a steady presence for her, the same way she’s been there for me. I don’t initiate or offer much up spontaneously, but I find myself talking about my complicated past because she knows how to ask the right questions. She knows more about my life than anyone else—about my complicated relationship with my mother, with Jeff, about my father and my future. Talking about the tough stuff, who knew it could feel so good?
Sarah Hamilton is my person, too.
She’s mine until the summer ends.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
SARAH
There’s an outdoor shower set-up, but we run right past it and head straight from the ocean to our yurt, which I will heretofore refer to as our nest. Yurt is just…a weird word.
I don’t care about the sand in my hair or the salty spray on our skin, and neither does Liam.
As he busies himself zipping us in and tying the strings that add a second layer of nonexistent security, I undo the strings on my bikini and take a deep calming breath. This isn’t our first time—we jumped that hurdle two weeks ago when my parents spent the night in Manhattan—but this feels extra special. We’re away together, on our own, no work or obligations, no distractions to come between us.
When he turns and takes in the sight of me, I feel relieved when I see the look on his face change from surprised to something I can only describe as wonder. He likes what he sees.
“You’re amazing, you know that?” Liam inches closer, eases my knees apart and fixes his eyesthere. My instinct is to lock my knees together, but I trust him. I trust him completely.
“So beautiful,” he murmurs, his hands feather-light as they skim along my bare skin. “Can I?” he asks, and when I nod he dips down and kisses my knee and along the inside of one thigh before moving on to the other.
I answer the same way, a nod or a breathyyes, whatever he asks of me. I want to give this boy everything. And when he’s finally inside of me, it’s how I want it to be and how I want us to stay: connected, joined as one. Liam Murphy, forever mine.
He’s become the center of my life since that day we took off in his car together. We don’t talk about the summer coming to an end. I truly don’t know how I’ll leave him next week, yet I know that I will. But leaving and moving on are two different things. I don’t see myself moving on from him.
I’ll never see an ending to our story.
He holds me after, lays me across his strong body and covers me with his arms. “I could die a happy man right now.” When I look at his face, I see that his eyes are closed and the smile that lingers tells me he’s content.
I rest my head down again before asking, “Do younotwant me to tell you that I love you? Because I do, Liam. I love you.”
He shifts us so that we’re side by side and he’s propped on one elbow looking down at me. “You think I wouldn’t want to know that you love me?”
“Just because,” I pause as I consider whether or not to say it out loud, “it’s only a week away.”
“I loveyou, Sarah. I don’t care that you’re leaving next week. Right now is all that matters. Right now, you love me and I love you.”
“The way you say that…You see everything changing between us, don’t you?”
“Everything does change. You leave next week, I stay here. Next September I don’t know where I’ll be. No one knows what’s around the corner. I’m not looking to end this,” he tips my chin up, “because I’ve never been happier than I’ve been this summer with you. But whatever happens, I have younow. I love you,now.”
“I want it to be forever.”
“So do I. And maybe it will be. Or maybe you’ll meet—”
“Stop!” I push his hand away. “I don’t want to think about meeting anyone else.”
“I don’t either.” He takes my hand back, kisses the inside of my wrist. “And I’m full of crap, by the way.” He sprawls out on his back again, looking up and smiling. “I have this recurring fantasy where I get a full ride to Pitt, I work with Leo while I’m in school, I get to see you every time you come to visit Grace, and then after we graduate I get a kick-ass job and we live on their street.” He starts to laugh. “I also picture a yard full of kids like Garth and Sienna’s.”
I laugh then, too. “Hold on there, mister. I’d be satisfied with two or three.” Snuggling in close again, I tell him, “It’s no so far-fetched, your fantasy. That could all happen.”
