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At least with Boyd gone, she wouldn’t overhear his mutterings about the imprudence of wearing jewelry to a camp. And at least nobody still asked her to describe the ring. Shame crawled up her spine. She’dtriedto be calm, to tamp down the panic. But after being asked for the tenth time what it looked like, she hadn’t been able to bite back the yell. “It’s a gold ring with a diamond! And I need it!”
She’d immediately apologized to poor little Justin, who’d asked the fateful question. He’d nodded, but she still felt so bad. She glanced over at Travis and Georgia, still scouring the ground as did Dan, who kept shooting glances at her, like he thought she might burst out crying or something. Well, if they didn’t find it soon, maybe thatwouldhappen. But right now she was too angry with herself and this whole stupid situation to cry.
“Sar, I don’t think it’s here.”
She shook her head at Dan’s comment, her eyes focused on the ground. Surely she’d see it—the diamond wasn’t that small. “It has to be.”
He moved over sand sifted a dozen times already and touched her shoulder. His eyes softened. “I’m so sorry, Sar. We’ve looked this past hour. It’s just not here.”
“No.” She needed that last reminder of Stephen. It couldn’t be gone.
He angled his head. “You definitely had it at lunch?”
She nodded, even as her mind questioned her recollections. It wasn’t like she’d focused on looking at her ring. It was simply always there, like the freckles on her hands were now a part of her. She didn’t notice them all the time, either.
“You sure you had it on after your swim? Maybe it came off—”
“Don’t say it!” Withheld tears made her voice squeaky. “It can’t be at the bottom of the lake!” She stepped closer to make sure Georgia and Travis couldn’t overhear. “Do you think one of the boys found it and took it?”
Dan’s brows rose, making her feel even worse for suggesting such a thing. He shook his head no.
“Then where is it?” Her voice pitched up. “You don’t even really care. I bet you’d be happy if I lost Stephen’s ring, so I could just build a bridge and move on, wouldn’t you?”
He drew a deep breath. “I do care. That’s why I’m still here, trying to help.”
It wasn’t helping.
“Sar, what do you want me to do?”
She gulped. “Just find my ring.” With tears blinding her eyes, she hurried away.
Chapter 9
Sarah sighed as a pot lid clattered. She’d lain here in the tent, trying to sleep, then trying to read, but the diminishing light had now made that impossible. The boys had returned from their canoeing and, judging by the clanking sounds and muffled voices, were trying to get something underway for dinner and not disturb her. Not that she deserved anyone’s kindness.
The pot lid clanked again. She needed to face the music. She rubbed at the dull pain in her head, grabbed her book, then slowly unzipped the tent, trying not to topple over as she shoved her sneakers on.
“Hey, Sarah, how you doing?”
Even though Patrik’s comment vaguely reminded her of Joey from an oldFriendsepisode, her smile refused to come out and play. She shrugged, looking around to encounter the sympathetic gazes of Georgia and several other campers.
“I saved you some cake.”
Sarah struggled to return Georgia’s smile. “Thanks.”
Boyd was frying some fish in a pan at the fire. It smelled good. He’d not really said anything much to her today, which was a surprise. He’d sure had a lot to say last night, from giving her detailed instructions in camp etiquette to wondering aloud if the Australian police checks done for those working with children were as thorough as those of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. He didn’t seem to like her much, so she was happy to ignore him now as she sat on a log, trying to focus on her book. She just hoped he remembered Dan saying she didn’t have to be too involved in camp life. She sure wasn’t up to “helping” right now.
Speaking of Dan, where was he? She peered into the gathering gloom but couldn’t see him anywhere. Not that it’d be easy to face him again. She wanted to cry some more about how she’d treated him. It so wasn’t his fault, but all hers, as usual. If only she hadn’t worn the ring…
“Travis and Dan are still looking.” Georgia’s worried face generated more guilt. “Travis feels really bad. He keeps thinking if he hadn’t bumped you then you’d still have it.”
Sarah bit her lip. Maybe that was true, maybe not. Amid her tears, she’d realized just how powerful Stephen’s ring remained. It was like a talisman, a symbol of hope, a validation of her womanhood. Maybe no one could ever love the scared, scarred Sarah, but she’d once been loved, she’d been found acceptable and desirable once upon a time. She couldn’t lose that.
Her thoughts slid back to earlier in the day. Oh yeah, the ring had power all right. Power to heal, and power to hurt. Her chest grew tight as she recalled Dan’s look of shock at her outburst earlier. She was busy destroying friendships all because of the ring.God, help him forgive me.
She sighed. Once her crying jag had finally abated she’d realized something else. Her words to Georgia this morning were just as important for her. Despite all her flaws, God loved and accepted her, and she really shouldn’t rely on a guy or a ring to tell her that. She stared blankly at the page. Equally challenging was the knowledge that she’d need to come to terms with the fact that Stephen’s ring was lost forever.
* * *
