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God, I really need You.
He closed his eyes. A vision of the bear and Sarah resurfaced. He shuddered. So much for being tough—that first moment he’d seen the bear had paralyzed him. He’d felt helpless watching, not wanting to startle the bear into doing something dangerous. Ella’s panic in the Jeep hadn’t helped matters, either. He’d almost had to shake her to get her to pay enough attention to know when to honk the Jeep’s horn when he finally eased outside. He wrinkled his brow. What had Sarah been yelling? Something about men leaving?
His heart caught. Was that what she’d meant—she was glad Dan had left? His heart stung. That fitted with her reaction later, when she’d barely coped with him being near.
God, I don’t understand.He swallowed the emotion clogging his throat.How could I have gotten her so wrong?
And she was leaving. Running away again. His heart hitched. Had she even mentioned leaving to John and Ange? Somehow he didn’t think so. Sarah was just like so many other women, who’d say one thing then do another, deceiving him. Again.
A loon’s anguished cry pierced the night. His skin crawled. It sounded like a woman’s scream. He grimaced. Not that he’d heard Sarah scream like that today. Actually, come to think of it, he’d hardly heard her say anything today—apart from yelling at the bear.
Yelling at the bear. His lips twitched. He shook his head, his amusement slipping as another shudder engulfed him. What if she’d been attacked—or worse, killed? His mouth went dry. What if there was no more Sarah in his world? He stared at the twinkling night sky.God, thanks so much for keeping her safe.
Muskoka’s steady orchestra of insects and amphibians continued thrumming until that eerie cry punctured the night again. Dan shivered. Funny how something could seem so ominous when it was just part of nature. Things could be so different than what they seemed.
His heart skipped a beat.
Sarah had been in shock today. What if leaving was just part of that shock? What if…
He sat up. What if she did care about him? If he didn’t try and patch things up soon, there really would be no more Sarah in his world.
He glanced over to where the cottage hunched, dark and still.
Tomorrow. If Sarah told him about going away, she’d prove she could be trusted. And he’d prove she would never have to run away again.
* * *
Sarah yawned.Her eyelids cracked open as morning light poured through the living room’s back windows. Why was she lying here on the couch? Why hadn’t she gone to bed last night? Rubbing at the sleep grit in her eyes, she stared blearily at the coffee table, then slowly sat up. At least that explained the pain in her neck. She squeezed the tense muscles in her shoulders. So needed a cuppa. Another yawn escaped, and she stumbled to the kitchen and put the kettle on to boil.
As she reached up to get a mug she almost gagged. Ugh. Shereallyneeded a shower. She glanced down at Dan’s hoodie and frowned. Why was she wearing that? Memories from yesterday resurfaced, and she gripped the edge of the kitchen counter, as if its solidity could give her strength and help stop the trembling.Thank You, God. Thank You, God!The boiling water rumbled loudly as she finally got her breathing under control.
She sucked in a deep breath and cringed. Tea could wait, but this horrid schlumpy feeling of stale grossness couldn’t wait a moment a longer.
An hour later, showered, caffeinated, and breakfasted, Dan’s top drying outside in the sun, she felt like a new woman. Warmth and food had chased away the fear, and connecting with God through music would help settle her spirit even more.
The piano stool screeched as she sat down. Her fingers moved automatically into music from old Heartsong Collective days before shifting to the chords and melody of the new piece of music from four days ago—before she’d noticed Ella over at Dan’s. She shivered. Nope, not going to live there. “God, I need to give You some thanks and praise instead.”
She started again at the top of the song, choosing to focus on what was good, what was true, what was praiseworthy. Today was a new day. Fresh, with no mistakes in it. Yet.Thanks, God.
So what if Dan didn’t care? God cared.Thanks, God.
And she didn’t need Dan or anyone else to rescue her all the time. God was her rescuer.Thanks, God.
And she needn’t worry about her future, either. God would sort it out.Thanks, God.
And soon she’d see her parents again, which would be great—even if it was slightly earlier than she’d anticipated. “Thanks, God.”
As if her spirit caught the echo in her ears, her focus shifted, slowed, stilled. Words from weeks ago resonated. Thankfulness. There was still so much to be thankful for. She sang through the song again, blocking the whisper of disappointment that had previously murmured on the outer edges of her soul. The words filled the room, her mind, touching her heart and lifting her spirits. She played the last chord and bowed her head.Thanks, God, that You’re with me, that You love me and have good plans for me. Help me remember—
Cr-e-e-a-k-k.
She jumped. Looked up. Through the curtained back window hovered a broad, dark shape. Breath snagged. Was it the bear? How did it know where she lived? After yesterday’s incident she’d meant to doublecheck the garbage cans, but she’d been too exhausted.God, help me to be brave.
She tiptoed into the kitchen and picked up a large frying pan. Banging something loudly was supposed to keep bears away, wasn’t it? If necessary, she could always bang it on the nose.
Something clattered to the ground outside. Her heart picked up pace, and she wiped damp palms down her skirt.The cottage was a little flimsy—could a hungry bear get in here? Why was he so attracted to her? Why couldn’t Dan be more attracted—?
No! Stop thinking like that. Stay focused.Be brave.
