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CHAPTERTWENTY-NINE
That evening in San Francisco, Hope pushed open the doors of the pavilion at the children’s hospital and walked out into the cool evening air. She’d just given her welcome speech to officially kick off the benefit and needed fresh air before going back inside to mingle with the deep pockets who were currently plowing their way through a six-course meal.
Every year the hospital transformed its largest meeting room and pavilion into a chic, chandelier lit ballroom and white tablecloth dining room. And every year, the very upper crust of Northern California society was invited to attend this elite event that, under her mother’s experienced hand, had become one of the most exclusive—and successful—charity events in the state.
It brought in millions of dollars each year to fund the hospital’s extra costs and grow its services annually. The children’s hospital had always been a part of Hope’s life. Her family had been long-time benefactors and contributed not only financially but with volunteer hours. The hospital had been close to her heart in a way she could never explain. This year she could. This year, she felt an even greater tug to the cause.
Spending time with Ruby, knowing that at six months old she’d relied on hospital services after the car crash that killed her mother, had only cemented Hope’s desire for every child to have access to the best possible health care regardless of prognosis, financial status, or opportunity.
At the thought of Ruby, her heart squeezed painfully. A familiar feeling since Gabe had left her in his office. Totally alone.
It gutted her, knowing he believed she was who he’d thought she was when he first found her crying in the hallway so long ago. But what choice had she had? She’d vowed never to tell Ivy’s secret.
She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t feeling a little angry about it all, too. It was true she hadn’t been totally above board, but she’d hoped when the time came he would have fought for her a bit more, had a little more faith in her. Instead he’d just left. How could he just leave?
And what she’d come to realize, after hours and hours of thinking of nothing else, was that in Portland with Gabe and Ruby—and Ivy as well—she hadn’t found independence. She’d only replaced one family with another. She’d opened herself up to love and gotten burned.
That was why she’d immediately accepted the Detroit gallery job when she received the official offer after she arrived in San Francisco for the gala. She needed a fresh start away from everybody she knew. Detroit would be her chance to truly be independent. Instead of latching herself onto another family she didn’t belong in. Just her.
It was for the best. Her heart just hadn’t accepted it yet.
“There you are, darling.”
She turned to see her mother approaching her on the balcony.
Audrey was stunning in her floor-length emerald gown with a Queen Anne neckline sparkling with gemstones. She was an ageless beauty. She was always elegant and refined, but on these occasions that required her to dress up, her mother came across as regal, untouchable. “If you stay out here much longer,” Audrey said with no criticism, “you’ll miss the main course altogether.”
Hope glanced over her shoulder at the bright lights of the city beyond. “I needed to get out for a moment. It’s such a beautiful night.”
All day, she’d done her best to hide her raw emotions from the previous night’s events. Catching the earlier flight, she’d arrived at dawn, needing to put as much distance between her and Gabe as possible.
Since her arrival, she’d had the best day with her parents that she’d had in a decade. Even though a part of her heart was totally and utterly broken, another part had been healed. It was ironic that Gabe had a hand in both.
Her mother’s footsteps halted beside her. “You know, darling, the very first night I held you in my arms I was here at this hospital, and I brought you up to this very balcony to show you this beautiful world you’d arrived in.”
Hope’s throat tightened. They hadn’t discussed her arrival into the world, well, ever. She looked at the face of the only mother she’d ever known. “You’ve never talked about my birth before.”
Audrey’s gaze dropped but Hope still caught the shame that fell across her lovely features. “I did so much wrong in how I handled that. So many things I can never take back.” She raised her gaze to meet Hope’s—brilliant blue eyes facing deep brown. “Having you here today, so open with us for the first time in—” Audrey cut off, her voice thickening with emotion. “In far too long. It’s given me the courage to now tell you all the things I should have said so long ago.” She gathered Hope’s hands in her. “If you’ll hear them?”
Hope studied her mother. She appeared so hopeful, yet so afraid at the same time. And even though her heart was threatening to beat right out of her chest, she squeezed Audrey’s hands reassuringly and nodded her consent. The time for truth was long overdue.
Audrey’s eyes shone with tears on the verge of spilling over. “The night you arrived, I was here at the hospital, coming off a volunteer shift in the NICU. I was walking out with one of the nurses when I spotted a bundle of blankets. As I moved closer, I realized the bundle was a baby. Someone had dropped off a baby on the front steps of this very hospital.”
“Abandoned,” Hope breathed the word, realization dawning. She’d been abandoned at the hospital.
Audrey shook her head, causing a tear to slip down her cheek. “Abandonment insinuates a callousness. Neglect. But your birth mother, whoever she was, cared about you enough to find a place that cared for children.”
At the revelation, Hope didn’t know how to feel.
“There could be a thousand reasons why she felt unfit to keep you. Those answers, my darling, we will never know. But what we do know is that she loved you enough to leave you in a place that had the resources and capability to care for you.” She squeezed Hope’s fingers in her own. “You weren’t abandoned. You were found. Just as the woman who gave birth to you wanted you to be.”
What her mother was saying made sense, but the feelings jumbling around inside her – not so much. She didn’t feel any anger or resentment, but she still felt the sting of hurt, and the hollowness of loss. There was no way to track her birth mother at this point. Hope would never know her story, never fully understand why she’d felt compelled to give her child away.
“The doctors said you couldn’t have been more than a few hours old. Less than a day,” Audrey added, her voice laced with emotion. “As you know, Joel was already five years old when you came along, too young to question the difference of how you arrived. Your father and I had been trying to grow our family for years, and…” She gave a helpless shrug of her elegant shoulders. “The doctors called it ‘secondary infertility.’ There was no reason they could find as to why we couldn’t conceive. I was heartbroken, devastated. Your father said we had to move on, to find enjoyment in the blessing we had. But I had this longing in my heart. An empty space aching to be filled.” She reached up and cradled Hope’s face.
Hope leaned into her mother’s touch, taking comfort from it for the first time in a long time.
Audrey smiled. “Then that night, you were there. I never thought we’d be able to adopt you. There was a process, a system—but somehow, by some miracle, you became ours. Not just in our hearts, but legally ours. And I never looked back.”
