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I press my finger to his lips, shushing him. “Just let me get this out, okay? And then you can say whatever you need to say.” When he nods, I let my finger fall from his lips. “When I smelled moonlight that night in the club when I first met you, I freaked out. I wanted to run, and eventually I did. Sometimes, I still feel like I want to. Like today, when I felt that undiluted rage toward Slate. I didn’t think I was capable of such violence, but apparently, I am.” I frown. “But I’m not sure that it was violence, you know. I think I was just reacting to the pain, something I’ve never done before. And apparently, my wolf needed to react, too, which really sucked for Slate because I’m pretty sure she was the driving force between the fire poker stabbing. The kicks to the face were mostly me.
“But what I think I realized is that, wolf or not, I would’ve wanted to hurt Slate. Now, if I were just a human, I probably would’ve just gotten myself killed. But unfortunately for Slate, I’m a werewolf, just like he’s a werewolf, just like you are and Shade and Rune and Liberty. And the four of you aren’t so bad. Slate’s the bad one. Just like some humans aren’t good and some are. I’m sure the same goes for vampires and every other creature out there.”
“So, you’re saying not all werewolves are evil?” He seems a tad lost.
I nod. “And that I shouldn’t be afraid of werewolves anymore. That there are good and bad out there everywhere, and I should be grateful that I have the strength that will eventually help me protect myself.”
“You will be able to do that sooner rather than later.” His hand molds around mine. “Shade was right. We doubted your skills too much. There’s still a lot of fighter left in you.”
Pride swells my chest. “Thanks for saying that, but I’m still not done with my speech just yet.”
He sucks a lip ring between his teeth, biting back a grin. “Please do continue with your speech, then.”
“Thanks. I’m glad I have your permission.” I roll my eyes, but then bounce with jitteriness as I go over what I need to tell him. “Honestly, my speech was more directed at me, to give myself the confidence and assurance for what I need to tell you about what Slate took away from us.” And because I’m procrastinating.
Maybe I’m wrong, but I feel like I’m about to admit I like him. I’ve never told a guy that before, and Jules isn’t even a normal guy. He’s a werewolf prince who will one day be king of the Violet Mountain pack!
Just rip off the damn Band-aid, Lake! You just stabbed your attacker in the leg, for wolf’s sake. This should be a piece of yummy cake.
“The thing is … Legend told me that, right before he jumped down and saved me that day, my eyes … briefly turned … violet.”
His nostrils flare as he inhales sharply. “You could feel the connection?”
I shrug unsteadily. “I don’t know. Maybe deep down underneath the pain I could. Legend assured me, though, that my eyes didn’t go violet for Slate or his friend. That if it did, I’d know.”
“Have you ever …?” His lips part then close. Part then close. “Have you ever felt a spark with any other werewolf?”
“No.” I pause, debating whether I dare tell him the entire truth about the first time I saw him. Will it mean anything? Does it mean anything to me? “The first and only time I felt something other than hatred for a werewolf was when we first made eye contact. I didn’t feel like crazy lust or anything, but I wanted to hug away your sorrow. You looked so sad and heartbroken.”
“That’s how I’ve looked for the last decade, since I lost you.” His hoarse voice cracks with a flurry of emotions. “You looked so much like Elora, but I couldn’t smell her scent, and I thought I was being punished for letting her—you—die. That the wolf gods were punishing me by sending an Elora look-alike to torment me.” Tears well in his eyes.
I splay my fingers across his cheek, desperately wanting to comfort him. “You can’t beat yourself up over what happened to me.”
He presses his nose against my palm. “Whether I can blame myself or not is beside the point. I’m going to spend forever making sure you get that decade of your life back.”
Forever?
“Do you think …? Why do you think my eyes went violet that day?”
“I’m not positive yet, but I guess we’ll find out in time.” He caresses his lips along my palm then up my arm to my shoulder. When he reaches the crook of my neck, he nuzzles against my pulse and groans. “I want to kiss you so fucking badly right now,” he murmurs, tracing his fingers along the speck of flesh between my shirt and the waistband of my shorts.
My heart beats wildly in my chest, intoxicating fear and want combusting through me.
“Then, why don’t you?” I ask, or more like purr.
The wolf inside me purrs, too.
He lets out a husky chuckle. “Because you just purred, that’s why.”
I lean closer to him and shut my eyes, breathing in his violet moonlight scent. “Why is that so bad?”
“Because it means your wolf is still partly controlling you. And considering the last time we kissed and you stopped it, I don’t think I should be kissing you until we’re both positive you want it.” He traces a gentle path along my scarred waist. The shiver that courses through me is both thrilling and petrifying. “Besides, I want to give you time to heal. Emotional scars, they take time. Sometimes more than physical wounds.”
I wonder if it’s possible to actually fall in love with someone based upon a few beautifully broken words.
“Okay.” I grip the front of my shirt as my wolf starts putting up a fuss. “What do we do now, then?”
“Now we go to sleep.” With a gentle suck on my neck, he lifts his head. The violet glow of his eyes doesn’t really throw me off like it used to. “Then tomorrow, we’ll train and go see Ava.”
