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He lifted his head a fraction, looking toward the river. “Yes. They’re still there.”
“Let me see.” She tried to move him but he held her tight. A glance at his face and she knew he was teasing her. A smile tugged at his lips and what she could see of his eyes were lit with laughter. “You big oaf. There’s not any Indians over there.”
His eyes widened. “Would I lie to you?”
“Yes.” She pushed at his shoulders until he started laughing, a clear indication she was right. “Get off me.”
He moved enough for her to lift her shoulders from the ground then rolled, pulling her along with him so she was laying on top of him. He was still smiling, his arms wrapped loosely around her waist and shook her head as she stared down at him.
She blew out a breath, pushing her hair away from her face. “Why do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Torture me every single day.”
“I like seeing your face get red and you look at me like you’re ready to eat me alive.”
“Slice you from navel to neck is more like it.”
He lowered his arms to the ground, his hands still laying against her waist. “Can I ask you why?”
“Why what?”
“Why you don’t want to be married to me?”
“Why do you want to be married to me?”
He hesitated, met her gaze and held it so long she wasn’t sure he was going to answer. “Isn’t it obvious?” he said.
“No.”
He exhaled and locked eyes with her. “Because I love you, Alex. I always have.”
There it was, the brutal, honest truth. The words slid from his tongue like velvet but now that they were out there, his throat felt raw.
He couldn’t do this dance and parry with her any longer. What she said in the next few moments would decide his future one way or the other. “Is Hugh a better choice than I am?”
She didn’t answer, instead sat up, straddling his leg while looking down at him. “You don’t love me, Jesse. You haven’t even seen me in ten years.”
“I saw you every night of those ten years, Alex. You haunted my dreams until I thought I was going crazy. You’re the only thing I’ve ever wanted. I still want you, despite your hateful ways.” He grinned when she rolled her eyes and looked away but she didn’t run, which he hoped was a good sign.
She met his gaze again and narrowed her eyes. “If you love me like you say, then why did it take you so long to come back home?”
“Because you deserved more than the boy who left. Schooling teaches you how to write pretty and add figures but it doesn’t teach you how to be a man. Only hard work and determination can do that so I set out to be the kind of man you deserve.”
He sat up, gripping her hips so she wouldn’t move. “Tell me honestly how you feel Alex, and I promise you, this will be the last time I ever bring this up.”
She looked down and played with a button on her shirt. “I don’t know how I feel.”
“Yes, you do.” He grabbed her chin lightly in his fingers and tilted her head so she would look at him. “I know you feel something for me, even if its contempt, so just tell me one way or the other. Is there any chance you’ll ever want to be my wife. A real wife, not just on paper.”
Her eyes grew glassy as she looked at him, her shoulders sagging as if every bone in her body turned to jelly.
“You don’t want me, Jesse. I’m ornery and mean-spirited, just like you’ve always said.”
“You are, but you’re also smart, independent and so beautiful you take my breath away. If not me, then who, Alex? Hugh Jacobs? What do you have in common with him? Is he a better man than I am?”
She lowered her head and leaned forward enough their foreheads were touching. Her eyes closed, her hands raising to rest on his chest.
