AllFreeNovel
Share Us
The word mother erased their smiles. He looked at Rafe, saw the sadness etched into every line on his face and wasn’t sure how to ease his brother’s pain. “Has she seen a doctor?”
Rafe nodded his head. “Yes. Evan has tried everything he knows of. Says sometimes it takes a while. Her stressing over not being able to conceive isn’t helping much either.” He sighed, his mouth pinched into a straight line. “Hell, for all I know, it could be my fault.”
Jesse smiled to try and lighten the mood. “If I had to guess I’d say it was your fault. You always were messing things up for no other reason than you could.”
Rafe grinned, the sadness still clouding his eyes. “Keep that up and you’ll be bunking out here in that old line shack like you always wanted to do.”
Jesse glanced to where Rafe pointed. The old line shack wasn’t more than four walls, all of them tilting a bit to the left. He’d had dreams of fixing it up and living in it when he was a kid but like most dreams, they never make it past the thinking stage.
They talked a few more minutes about nothing in particular before Rafe walked away. Jesse watched him until he was a blur on the horizon. When he could no longer see him, he raised a hand, running it over his face to try and erase his fatigue.
He’d been home for a week now and the happy homecoming he’d been looking for hadn’t happened. Instead, he entered a house filled with sadness, a town he didn’t recognize anymore and the one girl he’d been desperately trying to see still couldn’t stand the sight of him.
As she’d donea thousand nights before, Alex sat on the window sill and brushed out her hair. Supper was a horrifying mix of scoldings for venturing into Missoula alone and teasing because Jesse was back in town and everyone knew how much she loved to hate him. If they only knew the half of it.
She lowered the brush and stared across the pasture in the direction of his house. If the wind blew just right, the tree limbs shifted enough she could see a light from the windows. She used to imagine that light was in his room and he did nothing but sit there and pine away for her. She grinned.
Once upon a time, she would have been disgusted by the thought. Had spent years trying to beat the snot out of him in hopes he’d just go away and she’d never have to look at him again but the aggravating boy was always there. Always getting under her skin one way or another and always making her wonder what it was about him that made him so impossible to ignore.
The years hadn’t made that task any easier. The fact Jesse left town didn’t seem to matter to some. They still insisted on reminding her of how often they fought. Or asked her if she missed him. She hadn’t. Well, not at first. It wasn’t until he’d been gone for several months that she realized how boring life in Willow Creek was. School was more torturous than normal and every day was exactly the same.
Six months after he’d left she’d spotted a red mop of hair sticking above a shelf in the mercantile. Her heart had leaped into her throat. She snuck around the shelves, ducking so he wouldn’t see her and jumped out from behind a barrel and scared the living daylights out of some strange red head boy she’d never seen before. He’d ran from the store with her fast on his heels all the way to the stagecoach station. She’d spent long minutes staring at him, convincing herself it wasn’t Jesse.
That was when she knew she was in trouble. As much as she loved to hate Jesse Samuels, she missed him. She missed fighting with him. Seeing him every day and knowing no matter what happened, he’d get her blood pumping enough to remind her she was still alive.
She stepped away from the window and stared at her reflection the mirror. Her skin was scrubbed clean, her hair shining from where she’d brushed it free of knots and tangles and she smelled of the rose oil Laurel kept in the bathing room. She tried to hide the girl staring back at her for longer than she could remember but knew it wouldn’t be possible forever. Hugh had already noticed. She may be a bit naive on occasion but she wasn’t stupid enough to not know what he wanted out of their friendship. But was it what she wanted? And if so, what would people say? The town tomboy who pretended to be a lady marrying the blacksmith.
A voice in the back of her head whispered, what would Jesse think? Would he care if she married Hugh? Somehow she didn’t think so. If anything, he’d probably thank Hugh for making her settle down and stop acting as if she could do what ever she wanted to.
“What are you thinking about so hard?”
She jumped, startled at the voice and turned to the door. Her father was there, arms crossed over his chest while he leaned one shoulder against the doorjamb.
“I didn’t mean to intrude,” he said. “The door was open.”
She laid her brush on top of the dresser and crossed to where he was. He folded her in his arms like he used to and for a brief moment, she was ten years old again.
“What’s on your mind?”
“What makes you think something is on my mind?”
“The look on your face when I walked in here for one.” He pulled back enough to see her. “The fact you’re letting me hold you like this is another.”
She sighed and held on tighter. “I spent every day of my childhood counting the days until I was a grown up and could do what I wanted and now that I can, all I want to do most days is hide out here at the ranch where my only responsibility is feeding the animals and mucking out the stalls.”
“We all have to grow up eventually.”
“I know, I just wish there weren’t so many decisions to make.” She pulled away and met his gaze. “How do you know if you’ve made the right one?”
“You don’t. You just have to trust your gut and hope for the best.”
She curled her lip. “Well, that’s a stupid way to choose something that will impact the rest of your life.”
“And what are you contemplating that will affect the rest of your life?”
She didn’t answer. She wasn’t ready to voice her thoughts yet especially when she didn’t even know what choice it was she needed to make. “I’m tired,” she said, “and you know I tend to overthink things.”
“Yes, you do.” He placed a kiss on top of her head. “Go crawl into bed. Whatever it is you have to think about will work itself out without your interference. If its meant to be, it will happen without any help from you.”
