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Holden was speaking to him and he chased his confusion away enough to pay attention to what he was saying. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”
“I said thank you for doing such a good job. I knew I was leaving everything in capable hands.” Holden smiled and moved to the steps leading up to the porch. “And thanks for taking care of Alex. If I had known she was there, I would have brought her home with me when I left.”
He spent the next ten minutes talking about this and that before saying his goodbyes and Jesse was left in the front yard staring at the door his wife had disappeared behind. What was he supposed to do now? March in there and tell her family what happened? Tell them they were married and he wasn’t leaving without her? Or wait for her to tell them? Was that what she was doing now? Breaking the news to them and Hugh?
His horse sidestepped and he could see clearly into the front parlor of their house through the window. Everyone was there, all of them smiling, even Alex. It didn’t look as if she was telling them she was a married woman. If the big smile on Hugh’s face was any indication, he still thought they were engaged. Was this the part where Alex went back on all her promises and tried to divorce him?
He spit blood from his mouth, fire licking the inside of his veins as anger started to build and burn every inch of his skin. He reined his horse around and headed across the field down to the creek to where the old line shack sat on the edge of the Samuels property. He jumped from his horse and paced the clearing in front of the broken down line shack, the past two months playing in his head in slow motion until he reached the end….where Hugh Jacobs had grabbed his wife and kissed her as if he had a right to do so.
He yelled….yelled so long and loud his lungs burned with the exertion. He felt no better for it until he picked up a rock and threw it. One of the windows in the line shack shattered and he did it again and again, walking to the building and kicking at the old weathered boards until they splintered and cracked and didn’t stop until he couldn’t feel anything again.
All this time, all the plans he’d made had been all but fulfilled and now he had nothing. Alex had turned her back on him but why? She may not have said she loved him but he knew she felt something. Her kisses told him that much.
He stared at the line shack. All his dreams were so close to coming true. Did he let her go or fight for her? He turned and looked in the direction of the Avery’s house. Maybe she just needed time. Time to tell her family, to settle things with Hugh.
He sighed.
Fine. He’d play this her way. He’d give her the space she needed. She best use it wisely.
Alex splashedwater on her face again, rubbing away the last of the dirt from days on the trail. The water in the tub had cooled to the point it was almost uncomfortable but she didn’t have the strength to get out. Not yet. She still had too much to sort through. Everything was such a mess now and it was all her fault.
She’d let fear, doubt, and worry take over to the point she’d ignored Jesse for days and now that she was home things were much worse. Hugh showing up hadn’t helped matters, or the kiss he’d given her in front of anyone looking and that included Jesse. She’d snuck a look at him when she pulled away and if looks could have killed, she and Hugh both would be six foot under. She’d never seen him look so furious—or so hurt. The look in his eyes had almost done her in. She’d ran inside the house to avoid the pain she’d caused him and her biggest problem followed her.
Hugh was still in the parlor with her pa and Laurel. She’d excused herself to clean up and like a coward, she sat in a tub of cold water to avoid him. What did she say? How would he react?
A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts.
“Is everything all right in there?”
It was Laurel. Her step-mother always worried when she got quiet. She said it was the times she couldn’t hear her that she knew something was wrong.
She stood up and climbed out of the tub, grabbing the drying cloths to dry her skin. “I’m fine. I’ll be out in a minute.”
“Don’t rush,” she said. “Hugh left. Said he’d give you time to rest but wanted to talk to you as soon as you were yourself again.”
Thank the Lord for small favors. It felt as if a weight had been lifted hearing he wasn’t waiting for her outside. She dressed in a long shift and pulled a dressing gown around her, tying the belt around her waist before wrapping her wet hair in the drying cloth. When she opened the door, Laurel was still there.
“Can I get you something to eat?”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Are you sure?”
She knew something was up. Laurel always knew when she was keeping something from her. She wasn’t her biological mother but she’d raised her. She knew when something wasn’t right.
Alex smiled. “I’m just really tired. I don’t want anything but to climb into bed and sleep for a solid week.”
“Does that mean you don’t want me to wake you for breakfast?”
“You can try.” She left her there at the back of the house and used the kitchen stairs to go up to the second floor to her room. She shut the door behind her and went to the window, pulling the curtains aside and looking toward the creek, beyond the trees to the Samuels place. When the wind blew just right you could see the lights from the house. What was Jesse doing? Was he thinking of her or was he so furious he’d never speak to her again?
She needed to figure out something and fast. He wouldn’t wait forever. Question was—is this what she really wanted? Being alone on an adventure was exciting and new but this was real. This was her life. Did she want to be Mrs. Jesse Samuels? And if she did, why was it so hard to say the words out loud?
Thirty-One
One Month Later
Alex tiedthe belt on her dressing gown and blinked sleep from her eyes. Someone was pounding on the front door. She walked into the hall as her pa passed by her. It was full dark out, had been for hours now. Who would be calling at this hour?
