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Long seconds passed before Ben opened his eyes. He sat up and cupped his hand against her cheek. “You still do.”
She swallowed and willed her racing heart to calm. “Still do what?”
“You take my breath away. Every time I see you.” He looked at her mouth a second before he leaned in close. “I’m going to kiss you.”
She felt the heat of the words across her lips and she licked them before whispering, “Okay.”
Their lips met in a hot, wet slide and he wasted no time pushing inside, his tongue possessive and greedy as it slicked against her own. He tasted of whiskey and sin, and fire burned through her limbs as her heart hammered against her ribcage.
Dear heavens, is this what kissing is supposed to feel like?
Ben angled her head to deepen the kiss, sucking her lip into his mouth before she moaned, leaned into him, and kissed him back. She wrapped her arms around him as best she could and her blood went hot as a wild pulse thumped between her legs.
She had dreamed of kissing him, but her fantasies were nothing compared to the taste of him on her tongue. His free arm wrapped around her waist, tugging her close and when he laid back against the bed, he dragged her down with him.
Thoughts of all the other things she had dreamed about doing with him made her body burn. She could feel him, hot and hard against her hip, and she knew it would be so easy to have him in ways she had only dreamed about. The fact he was drunk made her pull away.
Hands on his chest, she sat up, panting for breath. He was watching her, his half-lidded eyes taking her in as if there was nothing else for him to look at. The heat in his eyes made her burn for more, but she did not want him like this—drunk and not fully aware of what he was doing. Was it only the alcohol making him so bold? If he were sober, would he still want her?
“I must go.”
“You don’t have to.”
She nodded and pulled away from him. “I do.”
“Stay with me, Morning Dove.”
He had no idea how tempting it was. Seeing him lay there, his thick arousal visible through the thin sheet covering him, made her ache to strip and join him, to feel him against her flesh. To drown in more kisses that made her burn for his touch.
No one would know. It could be their little secret.
But would he even remember it come morning?
Probably not.
He sighed long and loud. Ben’s breathing grew heavy before his features went slack. She watched him as she debated the pros and cons of staying with him. Then he snored. “Ben?” He didn’t respond.
Morning Dove stood and picked up the bowl of water. Ben did not move. Passed out, if she had to guess.
She left him, carrying the dirty water to the back door before tossing it out. Her gaze fell on the house, on the dirty dishes and strewn clothes. She gathered the dishes and checked the stove reservoir for hot water. There was not much, but it was enough to wash the dishes.
Her mind wandered as she cleaned. She loved Aaron and Betsey, but she felt like a burden most of the time. Her being there invaded their privacy as well. They never complained, but she had walked in on them having an intimate talk or kissing and knew, had she not been there, those moments would have turned out differently. She wanted those things as well. She wanted sweet words whispered in her ear and stolen kisses when no one was looking.
Ben’s smiling face popped into her mind. His words from earlier, him saying she was beautiful and that he wanted her, whispered through her head again. Did he really think that, or was it only drunken ramblings?
Thoughts of him followed her around the house as she straightened everything back up and she found herself at his bedroom door, staring in at him as he slept. Living with Walter, she had learned not to wish for things, but now she did. She wished for things that made her heart race. Wished the words Ben whispered to her were real and that he meant them.
She sighed and turned away, heading outside. Cash and Wind Chaser were still in the yard where she had left them. She led Ben’s horse to the barn and bedded him down for the night before climbing onto Wind Chaser’s saddle.
One look at the house made her long to stay—and that was one wish she would never get no matter how much her heart longed for it. Any relationship with her would be complicated and no man wanted to be burdened with such a task. She was destined to live her life alone and the sooner she realized that, the easier the heartbreak would be.
No one was home. Ben sighed and closed the door, looking toward the barn. At this time of day, Aaron would still be at work. Betsey and Morning Dove must have gone to town or over to Keri and Noah’s place.
Striding back to his horse, he climbed into the saddle and headed back toward town.
Having a day off was rare, and he usually spent those in the saloon, but his trip there the day before made him change directions when he left the house that morning. He didn’t remember much about the last time he’d been at the saloon, but certain parts stuck in his brain, one of them being Morning Dove helping him out of the street, cleaning him up, and tucking him into bed.
The kiss he’d given her had been playing in a constant loop inside his head since the moment he woke up.
