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Well, fuck. If I lay my case, isn’t that forcing her? Isn’t that not letting her decide what she wants on her own? If I tell her, she might think she has to be with me even though she doesn’t feel the same.
Okay, right about now, I’m not entirely sure I’m not a pod person. Nothing feels like it fits right in me.
So I let us into Danny’s to get her car.
I need a clue from her, but she stands there, stiff, closed and maybe that’s the sign? Maybe there’s no right move. It’s like things crumble to dust around me and I hand her the keys. “Are you staying in town?”
She blinks, pats her pockets, and pulls out the key to the cabin.
“I . . . I have to talk to Gran. Probably Mom. And . . . the lodge for a night or two? It’s too late to start out now.”
Neither of us moves. Someone is standing near the open garage door, and I’m pretty fucking sure I know who it is.
“Is it okay if I go into your place and get my things?”
“Yeah.”
Now, we’re talking like weird ass strangers.
“Um . . . thank you.” She gets in the car and drives off.
I’m pretty fucking sure she’s just wrapped a chain about my heart, attached the other end to her bumper, ripped the thing from my chest, and is currently dragging it down the street.
“You get real fuckin’ maudlin when ladies you’re in love with smack you down.”
I don’t look at Lawson. “I let her go.”
“That looked like a smackdown.”
“Why are you here?”
“Was heading home and saw you.”
I sigh. “Well, you fuckin’ found me.”
“Sure fucking did,” says Lawson. “Anyone tell you you’re an idiot?”
He’s right, but there’s nothing I can do.
I let her go because I had to. She has her own life. She has to make her own decisions.
I’m not going after her.
“All the fucking time.”
ChapterTwenty-Six
Sidney
I think I’m driving Gran crazy.
Mom’s gone back to New York in a huff after Dad told her to get a hobby. I’d love to think it’s because he’s stepping up to the plate, but I think it’s just she’s disturbing his relaxation time.
Whatever, as Vic says. It gets the job done.
Though I don’t think she’s going to give up, at least not yet, she’ll accept it.
Mack helped with that.
