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"That's too many negatives for me. Clarify for the dumbest man to ever taint British soil."
Her chest fills and then she turns her head, meeting my gaze, the look on her face tearing my heart in two. "Yes. I came to London hoping to see you. I was... I wanted to see you without my family around. And maybe, if it felt right, I might see if there was anything between us."
"Oh, Kiara."
She sniffs and tries to move away from me. “It's fine."
"It... is the furthest thing from fine." I jump to my feet, replaying that night outside the club in my mind, how I'd felt, what we'd said to each other, how we’d almost kissed. How my insides had churned all night wondering what had happened, and where these feelings had come from. And then trying to drown them in alcohol. And the worst memory, the look on her face when she'd seen me and Odette at my bar.
"Oh my god. I can’t believe I was such a fucking asshole," I murmur stumbling to the rail running along the roof, trying to drag air into my lungs and still my spinning head. "What the fuck did I do?" I say, trying to process it. I've already been struggling with how long it's taken us to get together. Three days in, I already can't imagine a moment of my life without her in it. and it turns out all this time, that it was my fault. I thought that it had been just a passing fancy for her, that I had just been another body at that club that night and the music, the dancing, the drinks are what had made her notice me for the first time. The thought that she came to England specifically to see me and I had hurt her in the worst way makes me want to shred my skin from my body.
A hand on my back, surprises me, and I spin around.
She looks back at me, hand still outstretched, eyes shining.
“When’s the last time you went back to England,” I ask, afraid to know the answer.
“That was the last time. I don’t go to London or night clubs just for fun, anymore.”
"Kiara. Oh, god, Kiara. I am so sorry."
"You've already said sorry."
"I didn't know. I had no idea. I thought it was just... it was just a coincidence that night, us meeting like that."
"I hadn't planned to see you that night. That was a surprise even for me, and when I realized it was you. I thought”— she lets out a wry laugh— "I though the universe was meddling in the best way. I guess I was wrong."
"It was me. I was so fucking stupid. I didn't realize until it was much too late that the feelings I felt that night were real. By then, I had already done a pretty good job at making you hate me forever."
She smiles and presses my hand harder against my cheek. "Unfortunately, not quite that long. But I never ever thought we’d get to where we are right now."
"And where is that?"
"I don't know. I'm almost too scared to think about it, or look at it directly. Like if I breathe on it a little too hard, it's going to just disappear into the wind."
She pulls on my wrist and rests her head against my chest. "But whatever happens, I'm going to remember these last few days forever."
"I'm not going anywhere. And if you go somewhere, I'll follow you. I'm a pretty fast runner."
She snorts and it breaks the tension. "Please. I've run away twice from you now."
"Those don't count. You caught me off guard both times! One time you even slapped me."
She giggles and the sound vibrates through my ribcage and permeates my whole body.
The tension broken, we stand there for a minute, enjoying the view and the company.
After a moment she pulls away from me and looks up. "Can I ask you something?"
"Anything. Except what my tell is."
"Oh please, you tap with your left finger. You try to hide it by moving your hand down under the table, but that just makes it all the more obvious."
“Rude. Ask away.”
She clears her throat. "Have you always been so... er, bossy during sex? I didn't expect that from you."
"Excuse me. Bossy?!"
