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"Um, he knows Matthias is coming," Kylian answers, glancing at me. "We weren't really sure what else to tell him."
She nods. "It's okay. I'm just going to stay in the room. I won't come to any of the wedding activities. They won't want me there. And I don't blame them. I'm not here to cause any trouble, Kylian."
"I know. Matthias wouldn't bring you if you were. That much, I believe. We'll work something out."
I reach around the seat and touch her knee, giving it a little squeeze. She puts her hand on mine to let me know she's okay.
When she's not looking, I mouth "thank you" to my youngest brother, who can also be the most mature amongst us sometimes.
Kylian parks the car around the back entrance of the estate and ushers us into one of the rooms. "I'll let you know about what's going on, okay?" he mutters to me. "I'll see you around, Clarissa," he calls out and she gives him a grateful wave.
I feel like I'm being torn a thousand different ways. I want to go see my brothers and soon-to-be sisters-in-law, but I can't just leave Clarissa here. That's not fair. I dragged her here, I can't just dump her to stay in a room the whole weekend.
She laughs and shakes her head. "Your face is like a billboard. You don't play poker, do you?"
I run my hand over my face, hoping to wipe away some of the evidence of my thoughts. "No! And if Kiara asks you if you want to play, say no immediately. She will chew you up, spit you out and feed you to the possums." I sit down on the bed next to her. "I'm okay here."
She pulls out her laptop, and plugs it into the wall. "I came because you wouldn't go if I didn't. So I'm here. If I need something, I'll text you; otherwise, pretend I'm not here. I'm going to be fine. Just go."
I wrestle with myself for a moment and then remember that she's right. Damien and My-Linh are my reason, and they deserve the best of me.
I stand up and smooth out my travel wrinkled pants. "I'm just going to have a look to see who is here, and I'll be back okay? Don't run off with some other man before I return"
She laughs, something about being away from the life that we have in New York has lifted a weight from her shoulders. "Just go, I'm sick of your face anyway. I forgot how good looking Kylian is." She tilts her head, sizing me up with a look. "You think he and Kiara are going to last?"
Her squeals fill the room as I launch myself at her and wrestle her onto the bed, then give her a deep kiss. "I'm going to come back later and finish that thought."
"I'll be waiting."
And when I leave the room, I'm whistling without even knowing it.
Chapter 37
Clarissa
Theviewoutofthe window is breathtaking, and a small and niggling voice almost wants to resent Damien for never bringing me here.
But I don't blame him. We were only ever just friends, and we made a bad decision thinking that we could have a marriage of convenience, that we could live that way forever. It just so happens that he came to that conclusion before I did. And I took it as a slight when I shouldn't have. Falling in love with someone, or not being fallen in love with someone shouldn't feel personal. We've all taken for granted how often it really happens.
I wonder if I would have come to that conclusion without having experienced these last few weeks with Matthias. Or would I have forever thought that wanting, wishing for a healthy relationship born of love, was a pipe dream?
The sun is low in the sky, and it paints an orange hue all over the vineyard. A group of parrots fly over the vineyard, sunlight on their wings. Notgroup.Apandemoniumof parrots. Only Australians could say that with a straight face, I think affectionately.
I watch them fly off into the sky. Utterly majestic.
I could live here forever.
Checking the time, I call the club and tell everyone that they're going to have to take charge for a few days. When I hang up, my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth. I'll never get over how dry Australia is. I need some water, maybe there's a bathroom or kitchen nearby.
I crack the door open to make sure the hallway is clear and step outside, almost colliding with my ex-fiancé coming around the corner.
"Whoa, whoops, I'm so—" Damien starts, his face hardening as soon as he realizes it's me. "You have got to be kidding me!"
"What's going on?" Kingsley asks as he turns the corner with the rest of the family. "Oh. Clarissa."
I know it's rude not to answer, but I can't move.
Of all the things that could've happened this was the absolute worst. In the back of the group I see My-Linh and a tall, slender, woman with hair almost all the way down her back turn to each other, mouths dropped open. The bride and her bridesmaid, I'm guessing.
