Page 146 of Lust


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I open my eyes again, taking a moment to figure out where I am. Still in my office, still wearing the same clothes I was wearing when I woke up at Leanne's apartment. How long ago was that? I couldn't tell you if it was a day or a year. I'm on the floor by my desk. How I got there is anyone's guess.

An empty bottle lays at my feet, and it all comes crashing back.

My chest thrums with an aching that's making it hard to breathe. My fingers tingle with the need to see her, to touch her.

But I know I can't.

"Why are you all still here? Don't you have your own jobs? And aren't you guys supposed to go back to your honeymoon?"

"We're here because of you," My-Linh says, kindly. "We can't leave you like this."

"I'm fine." I get to my feet, feeling around for my phone, even though I know I shouldn't hope for a text message or voicemail, I do.

I just want to hear her voice one more time, one more time, to tell me why she did this. Tell me, so I can get over it once and for all.

And move on.

Move on to where?

Somewhere where I don't need to drink my body's volume in scotch to get through the day? That doesn't sound as appealing as you'd think it would.

"She didn't text," Kingsley says, pulling my phone out of his pocket and sliding it onto my desk.

"I didn't say anything. I don't care." It sounds sulky because it is.

"Don't insult me," Kingsley scowls. "Guys, I need to talk to Matthias alone for a bit."

Kingsley talks in two situations: work, and when one of us is in trouble.

I don't like my odds.

The rest file out of my office, Kylian grumbling under his voice and getting a slap to the back of the head from both Kiara and Damien.

"What's up?" I ask, trying to keep my voice light.

Kingsley just stares at me.

Ah, the age-old interrogation technique. Let me talk myself into a hole. Unlike when I was seventeen and crashed a car into Eton on graduation day, I can keep my mouth shut now.

Or not.

"Isn't it funny that there are two more people in our family now?" I say after a while, the silence digging into my skin like a tick. "And girls. Ew."

He doesn't look impressed. Tough room. "What are you going to do about this?"

"Wow, not even going to respond to what I said? Keep going like that and you won't have any friends. Oh... wait."

He just stares back at me. He's really good at this.

So I talk. "Fine. I have to talk to my lawyer about our defense. Maybe self-defense or something. I can talk to Jordan about testifying, he examined Clarissa the night that Patrick attacked her. The first time. Not sure I should take the stand, though; pretty sure I'll just blurt out that I should've killed him.

Kingsley barely blinks. "Not that."

"Oh, well, the IPO? I don't know. We have a month. I'll have to talk to Paula and the PR department. It might be a lost cause though, what with the engagement being over..."

"Not that either."

That annoys me. "Then what the fuck are you talking about?"

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