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He sucks me harder, and as I release the first shot of cum into his mouth, his finger breaches my hole, and my entire body feels like it’s on fire. Ecstasy. Pure fucking ecstasy. He may not fuck me tonight, but he better get ready because I am determined to make it happen sooner rather than later.
CHAPTER NINE
“Dude, I got fucking nothing. The few emails, in the beginning, were like this person was trying to catch me in something that I shouldn’t be in, and now, they’re almost useless. Are you positive that this is your old sergeant? And why the fuck can’t this person just come out and say whatever it is that needs to be said? This cryptic shit is getting old.” I groan out in frustration. This person, because I’m still not convinced it’s Copper’s old sergeant, is driving me insane. They were so determined to have me believe that Mallory was an accident and that there is something going on, but it’s like the second I decided not to give anything in return, they decided that I wasn’t worth sending anything to anymore. And what little they did send me made zero fucking sense.
“Sarg said that thing about him being harder to fire to me after the shit with Connard. He was the only one around. I’m telling you, it’s him. It has to be. Sure, the files we’re getting aren’t really helping right now, but it’s possible that what he’s sending is all he has access to. I wouldn’t be surprised if his computer is being monitored. And you can’t always walk out with the information. You have to be creative. If Connard is doing more than just the drugs—if he’s part of The Company—he’s not going to have that so readily available to snatch. Not at least for Sarg. Maybe one of his goons.”
“Copper, come on, man. What the hell type of email is this?
From: [email protected]
Subject: Assist
The darkness is in the lightest place. The bright light within the area is the purest form of evil. She was a mistake.
“What the actual fuck, Copper?” I shout at him as he blows a raspberry, shaking his head. The emails started to become riddles or quotes. Nothing helpful. Nothing that says, “This person took Mallory,” or anything else of use.
I’ve been digging, and nothing is online. I don’t know if they realized that we were catching on or if they came up with another system, but I can’t find shit on any of these kids. I can only assume the worst. They’re all gone, and we aren’t getting a single one of them back. I hope that because I haven’t seen any chatter, or found anything new, maybe I’m wrong, and they really are just waiting it out. I hope we might find Mallory, at the very least, alive.
“Fuck,” I whisper in defeat.
“Trust me, man, I get it. Trying to figure this shit out is soul-crushing. Even working there in the precinct, I couldn’t find shit. I’m positive that Connard is responsible for more than Cocaine Plus, but I can’t find anything to support the claims. His little puppets are the ones that respond to these calls. Maybe we start looking into them more?”
“Who are they?” I ask tentatively. I don’t know what I am going to do if he says Whitley’s name. I honestly don’t know if I would be able to handle it. I can feel my heart start beating faster. I’m truly afraid. I can’t let this come between Whitley and me. If Copper says his name, I know that the world I started to build with him will ignite, and everything will burn and crumble to the ground. Nothing but rubble and ash would survive—showing the attempted life of love, yet all that’s left is a failure.
“Mallard, Stephens, and MacIntyre. Mallard isn’t in it as much as I thought he was, though. He is also the one that helped me pack my shit when I was fired. If you can call it that. But Stephens and MacIntyre are garbage humans. I’d recommend looking into them. You can trace Mallard’s moves too, but something tells me if anyone knows anything about Connard, it’s them. You might get shit out of tapping into Carson’s computer too.”
“Who is Carson?”
“He was the one that I….” Copper coughs and clears his throat before he continues. “He was the one that I was exchanging sexual favors for information with,” he says. I can hear the shame and what sounds like fear in his voice. “I stopped before Ellie became mine but yeah. Not my finest moment.”
I can tell that he is embarrassed, so I move on like it’s not a big deal because the truth of the matter is, it’s not. “Cool. Did you get anything from him?”
“Just my dick sucked,” he says, very sullen.
“Okay, so you got more out of it than he did? I mean, you got off AND got the information you needed, so Prez didn’t take you out. Would you have sucked his for more information?” I am finding myself more and more curious about this. I had always wanted women until Whitley, so I can’t call myself bisexual. I only say because I don’t find other men attractive—only Whitley. Maybe Copper will have information that can help me understand myself a bit more.
“I don’t think so, but maybe. I mean, I have always known I liked women, but I was not opposed to being with a man either. I came to terms a long time ago that while I don’t care about a label, I would be considered pansexual. I’m just me. I love who I love. There is no need for it to be known which gender does it for you. Sometimes it’s just people or just that one person who does it for you. Love is love, and sometimes that doesn’t see gender. Look at Judge and Storm or Cowboy and Dizz. Each pairing is soul mates and loves each other.” Copper looks at me like he can’t quite figure me out.
“Don’t look at me like that. You brought up the cock sucker. I’m just trying to figure out if your very pregnant woman needs to be worried about another cock in your mouth.” I smirk, so I can keep deflecting.
“You know she has nothing to worry about. Come on, man, what’s this about? Are you thinking about swinging for the other team? I saw you and Turd getting cozy the other day.” He waggles his eyebrows at me, throwing me his very white smile that I can’t help but laugh at.
“Just trying to figure me out, is all. Don’t worry about me. But no. Turd and I aren’t anything. I just needed to ask him some questions. Besides, I would break Turd. That skinny-ass little man? My dick would literally split him in half, and I’d have to explain why that smartass is all of a sudden dead.” I laugh. “Also, he’s not my type.” Copper gives me a look like he doesn’t believe me but joins me as I continue to laugh. Calming down, we start going over everything again— from the files to the ads. Nothing is talking to me.
“You know, if you are thinking about seeing a guy, I think it would be great. Especially if he makes you happy,” Copper pats my shoulder and heads into the kitchen sometime later.
I know why Whitley and I need to keep this under wraps, and I know why people can’t know who he is, but situations like this make me feel guilty for hiding our relationship away. I know Copper and our brothers would be happy that I am with someone. They’d be happy that I found someone that makes my heart beat the way Whitley does. They wouldn’t care that he’s a man. They’d care that I’m happy. But then I remember that he’s a cop, and it brings all the terror of losing him, of possibly losing my life and home here in the MC, to the forefront of my mind.
I don’t want to hide it. Not completely. Thinking about it, I could tell people I am in a relationship, but we can’t tell anyone for fear of his job and his life. That doesn’t mean he’s a cop. It just means that he’s in a testosterone-filled profession or in one where people are assholes that don’t accept anything other than their own beliefs.
This will work.I need to tell Copper. I need to tell all of them. This at least allows me some sort of control over telling them about my love life.
“He does make me happy. But we agreed to keep it on down low because of his job. He is worried if people find out, he could lose his job and be disgraced or, worse, killed. All that kind of makes me terrified to tell anyone, but I have never felt more like me than when I am with him.” I smile, thinking back to these few months with Whitley. The laughs, smiles, and routine we have gotten into. The cats love him, and that is a big thing for me. I look up at Copper, and he has a look of terror on his face. Fuck, did he figure it out? Oh no. Did I blow it?
“You’re kidding, right? If you are with a guy who could lose his job and is scared for his life…. Oh my god. Dude! Cowboy is gonna kill you!” he starts laughing, and not just a regular laugh. The man is doubled over, slapping his leg. “You are ‘bout to see the hell I went through! Oh, this is gonna be great to watch from the outside!”
