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“I have nothing to gain,” I state, but I doubt that they heard me. I can see why someone would think that I’m the one that did it. But I was standing in a room that had every single one of my brothers in it when she was dumped. There’s no way that I could have done it.
“What did you say?”
I’m full of so much dread about losing my kids; I don’t even know who asked me that. I look around the room before I continue.“I said, I have nothing to gain. I have a daughter who I can’t even claim as legally mine yet. I have a son who I have zero rights to. Now, I have their dead mother sitting in the front yard. All this does is fuck my chances of getting my kids. What the fuck do I gain from her death? Nothing!”
I feel defeated. I fall to the floor and bring my knees up, covering my head.“She was already keeping my own child from me. How am I going to get to keep her son? My daughter’s brother. I don’t want them separated. Dillon even calls me Dad. That kid is mine. Steffie didn’t give a single fuck about either of those kids. She wanted me to give her my daughter for Dillon. I had a chance at getting them both when she was alive. Now, I have nothing.”
I don’t care what the stigma is about men—I cry.
I was so damn close to getting what I wanted—to be listed as my daughter’s father. To have my rights and for Dillon to be mine. All I’m getting, though, is most likely arrested for a murder I didn’t commit.
I feel a hand on my shoulder, and when I look up, I see the man that’s been like a father to us all.
“You need to listen to me, son. I will not let this keep you from your kids. I promise you that.”
I nod. There isn’t more that I can do. I want to believe him, but I’m afraid. What happens when I put all my faith into those words, and I lose? I don’t know if I’d survive. I’ve never loved another the way that I love those kids. I’d step in front of a bullet without a second glance. I’d give everything I have for them. If it was between them and Audrina, I would choose them and never look back. I can’t let Steffie’s body showing up ruin everything I’ve been fighting for.
“We have to call it in. If one thing goes wrong and we get caught hiding her body, I lose everything. Those kids are the only thing that matters to me right now. I know that calling it in will fuck with this club, but I cannot, and will not, put this club above my children.”
I look at Judge, and all I see in his eyes is pride. This makes my heart swell. He goes to talk, but Cowboy beats him to it.
“If you did, you’d no longer be part of this club. It has taken years and a lot of fuck-ups, for the reality to sink in. When this club was started, yes, it was club above all. But everything has changed. So many factors have come into play since the beginning, and now, the club is second. We all have someone that means more to us than this brotherhood. Those women, men, or children, they’re who keep us going. The reason why we come home at night. The reason why, when we go on a run, we do everything that we can to make sure that we don’t die. The love this brotherhood gives us is nothing like the love that we get from our kids or the ones that we claim. I’m not going to fault you for being a man and stepping up to make sure that your kids are safe. And because this is a brotherhood, you have a whole fucking team standing behind you to make sure that you come out on top. We’re here for you, brother.”
I stand up and wrap my arms around him. I’m more than thankful that he understands what it is that I need and what means the most to me. I love this club, but I’ll never love anyone, or anything, more than my kids.
“I’ll make the call.”
Copper looks around, and when he gets the needed nod from our Prez, he calls it in. I don’t know what it is that he’s going to tell them, and I frankly don’t care. My concern now is I don’t have an alibi.
“You guys know that I didn’t do it, right?”
“We do. But what we know and what Connard can prove are two different things.” Storm tells me.
“Let’s go let the guys know that he’ll be on his way. Rambo. Cowboy. Don’t say shit to anyone until we get a lawyer here.” Judge gives us both stern looks as he pulls his phone out of his pocket.
“Who are you calling?” Cowboy asks.
“The only one that will be able to get us out of this heaping pile of shit.”
Leaving the room, we head out to where the rest of our brothers are. Before I get to the main room, a hand comes out from the storage closet, pulling me in.
“What the fuck?”
“Look at me,” oh shit. Butcher.“Did you kill her?”
“No.” I don’t know how convincing I am because, frankly, this man terrifies the hell out of me. I don’t break eye contact. I can only hope that he sees the truth in my eyes. I don’t want to know what he would do to me if he didn’t believe me.
“I believe you.”
“Y-you d-do?”
“I know how to spot others like me. You’re a tough S.O.B., Rambo. You’ve done some fucked up shit, but nothing compared to what I’ve done. But that doesn’t mean that you didn’t have a part in this. Where were you?”
“I didn’t play a single part in this, Butcher, but I don’t have an alibi.”
“How‘bout you let me be the judge of that?”
I tell him everything. I break down what’s going on with Audrina and me. What I want, what I wish for, everything. I give him every detail I can leading up to the kiss. Then, I told him how I spoke with Turd and was no clearer about what it is I should do. Taking my bike to the mountain and sitting there.
