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“Oh, I am sorry I was looking for someone.” I stutter, trying to stop the tears that are about to break through.
“Rambo?” She questions softly. I nod, trying to steel myself for what is coming.“He’s sleeping right now. Are you okay?”
“Ya, yes. I am fine. I’m just gonna leave. Sorry for disturbing you this late. I mean early.” I can’t hold them back anymore, and I quickly turn on my heels and head down the steps.
I told you he could never love you. I hear Clint’s voice loud as day in my head.
I make my way to the car and let the tears flow. It’s not even soft sobbing. I can’t hold back all the hurt I am feeling. I’m broken. I feel like I was cheated on when I didn’t even know what we were! What were we doing? What was I doing driving over here in the early morning? Of course, he has someone there. Why wouldn’t he? He is an attractive man, and being a single dad adds to the sex appeal. Why wouldn’t someone want to go home with him?
I am jarred from my thoughts and pity party by a knock on my window. There stands Nate, shirtless, with all of his muscles on display. I don’t know why this makes me lock the door. He leans over the window and signals for me to open the door. I refuse. I see him mouthAudrina, please open up,but I can’t bring myself to hear the words. I don’t want to face the truth—that he is seeing someone else. That he used me. My tears keep flowing, and I don’t think they will ever stop at this point. My heart feels shattered. It’s like I’m lost without a home or a safe place.
He taps the window again, and I shake my head. I refuse to look at him. I fumble with my keys. I’m trying to put them in the ignition, but I’m still shaking and crying, so I drop them, which makes me cry harder, all while Nate still calls for me.
“Audrina, if you don’t open up, I am smashing the window,” he calls loud enough for me to hear him through the glass.
I hit the unlock button and then put my face in my hands. I am so embarrassed about everything and my reaction. I hear the door click open, and I can feel him, crouched down beside me. I won’t look at him. I keep crying. He sighs and starts to pull me gently toward him. Here we are—him sitting on the ground, leaning on my car, with me on his lap, still crying. He’s attempting to comfort me, and I still refuse to look him in the eye.
“Amour, are you going to look at me and let me tell you what she is really doing here?” He asks gently, running his hand up and down my back. It takes everything in me not to lean against him and seek comfort from him.
“I know why she’s here. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be this upset about it.” I croak out.
“That’s Aletta. She’s Butcher and Abilene’s daughter. I think she didn’t know I’m staying here, or she forgot. She normally stays in the apartment and came into town late. So when she unlocked the door and saw me, she immediately said she’d go to her parent’s house. I told her that she didn’t need to wake them up. I wasn’t going to kick her out, especially this late at night. How could I? So, she took my bed. I had just finished making up the couch and passed out when you showed up. Nothing sinister is at play here, amour. Just me helping out a friend’s daughter.” He explains.
“I’m a fool,” I mumble, putting my face in my hands.
“No, you aren’t. There is just a bit of miscommunication, which is my fault. I haven’t made my intentions clear at all during this whole thing, and that’s on me. I’m sorry for that.” Nate tries to pull me closer to him, but I refuse to lean into him.
I’m so foolish. How could he want me near?
He sighs and signals for me to get up. I scramble off his lap and try and make my way back into the car. Nate grabs my arm and pulls me back. He reaches past me to get my purse and keys, then locks the door. When he leads me back up the steps, I try to pull away. His hand slides down, weaving his fingers with mine. We make our way into the small apartment, and in the kitchen, I see Aletta. Watching us. she’s sipping on something warm, judging by the cup with steam coming from it.
That’s when I remember that Nate isn’t wearing a shirt. I don’t say anything, but I watch her. She makes no move to look at Nate like he is a piece of meat. She actually avoids him and looks at me like she is worried. I must look like a hot mess—my face is undoubtedly red and blotchy. I know tears are still falling from my eyes.
“You good, sweetie?” She asks me, and I nod. Not really sure what I can say to her.
“Audrina is worried that my feelings for her have changed. When you answered the door, she assumed the worst. It’s my fault for not explaining everything to her.” Nate explains as he pulls me to his side and places a soft kiss on the top of my head.
“Ah, yes, I can see how that would create some fucked up feelings. Don’t you worry, doll. Rambo is all yours. Plus, I kinda sprang this all on him when I showed up without warning. Besides, I have my own baggage I need to handle. I am going to head to bed. Are you sure you don’t want your bed now?” Aletta’s eyes flip between Nate and me.
“The sectional Cowboy dropped off is more than big enough for us. You rest. We’ll talk in the morning.” Nate walks away from me, leaving me feeling cold and alone as he pulls her into a side hug. He ushers her away before pulling me along again.
“I am sorry for showing up here so late and causing a scene.” I choke on the last word because all I can do is brace myself for what is coming. While I know Nate isn’t Clint, I’m conditioned to prepare for the worst when no one else is around.At least I realize that now, though.
“You never have to apologize for coming over. I am here for you. I am sure there are a lot of bad memories in that house that want to chase you out. But you need to listen to me when I say this. I am here for you no matter the time. Okay? You are my endgame, Audrina. I will be ready for you when you are ready for me.” He holds my face in his large warm hands as he states his truth. His calloused thumbs wipe away the tears that fall.
“I am too broken to be your endgame. That whole situation is only part of the baggage I am bringing.” I wave in the direction of the door.
“That is why it’s my job to show you with my actions and my words. I haven’t been doing that lately, and for that, I am sorry. Never again, amour. I will show you that I am here for you one hundred and ten percent.” he leans down and lightly presses his full soft lips to mine.“Lets curl up on the couch, and you can tell me anything and everything you came here to.”
“I just wanted to feel—” I stop because it’s going to sound so silly. He will mock me for saying it.
“Feel what?” His voice stays soft and soothing this whole time, making my insides calm and feel like I am finally home.
“I just want to feel like I did before with you. I want to feel like I am safe, like when you go home after a long time away.” I feel my face start to pink up as I blush at the fact that I told him that.
“Well then,” Nate pauses, pulling me to him on the couch, wrapping the blanket around us,“welcome home, amour. Welcome home.”
“W
