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‘So how do you feel about sex before marriage now?’ asked Trish.
‘Fine,’ said Hannah with a shrug. ‘I definitely wouldn’t get married again without it, anyway.’
‘So what else has stuck?’ asked Jess. ‘Anything you still won’t do?’
Hannah thought about it for a moment. ‘I never swear.’
Gaynor laughed. ‘Shit, I say “fuck” about a hundred times a day.’
‘I’ve noticed,’ said Hannah wryly. ‘Look, I’m not a puritan or anything. It was just forbidden for the first eighteen years of my life, so I guess I’ve never got into the habit.’
‘Sorry to rewind a bit,’ said Trish. ‘But I still have more questions about the sex before marriage thing.’
Hannah smiled and raised her eyebrows, surprised at how relaxed she felt in the company of these women. ‘Go on.’
‘You got married at eighteen, right?’ said Trish. ‘Does that mean your ex-husband, what’s his name?’
‘Graham.’
‘Exactly. Does that mean Graham is the only man you’ve ever shagged?’
Hannah nodded. ‘Yep.’
‘And he was shit in bed?’
‘I have no idea,’ said Hannah. ‘I’ve got nothing to compare it to, I’ve never even kissed anyone else. But if that’s as good as it gets, I want a refund.’
‘Fuuuuck,’ said Gaynor, splashing her feet with excitement. ‘This is HUGE. We need to get you back on that horse, and this is the perfect place.’ She held her hands up, her fingers splayed for added drama. ‘This holiday is going to be your journey of self-discovery.’
Hannah laughed. ‘Sorry, but that’s not my plan. I promised myself this trip would be about making time for myself, and I’m definitely not interested in men right now.’
‘Not even a hot tennis coach?’ asked Jess. ‘If he was a total gentleman and wore a condom and everything?’
‘Nope,’ said Hannah, shaking her head firmly. ‘And anyway, I’m not a casual sex kind of person. I wouldn’t even know where to start.’
Gaynor grinned. ‘It’s easy. Since you and Trish are the two singles in our group, we start by making sure you both go out tonight looking a million fucking dollars.’
‘I’m totally down with that,’ said Trish.
‘Can’t we look a million dollars too?’ asked Jess, her face mutinous.
‘Course,’ laughed Gaynor. ‘We’re just the boring marrieds who only get to watch.’
‘That’s fine,’ Jess shrugged. ‘We get to live vicariously through these two without the effort of taking our knickers off.’
‘Oh God, we’re old,’ muttered Gaynor, sliding into the pool and turning to face the others. ‘Do you think I can still do a handstand?’
CHAPTER NINE
By midnight Hannah was three mojitos down and ready to call it a night. Her toes felt squashed, her heels were rubbing and the balls of her feet were throbbing in the silver kitten-heeled slingbacks Sam had talked her into. She’d had an amazing night of cocktails and dancing, but she was also a bit drunk and more than a bit tired – all she wanted was a taxi home, a shower to freshen up, then her bed.
‘One more,’ said Gaynor, holding up her empty glass. ‘It’s my round. Pleeeeeease.’
Hannah rolled her eyes and nodded, not wanting to be the one who bailed out early on their first night. Her feet would be back in trainers tomorrow, and she’d never have to wear these stupid shoes again. ‘I’ll get them,’ she said, sliding Gaynor’s debit card into the pocket of her skirt. Getting the drinks meant she could order a virgin mojito and none of the others would be any the wiser. The other women whooped enthusiastically as Dua Lipa’s ‘Physical’ started to play, heading back to the dancefloor as Hannah weaved her way to the bar. It was only two deep, so hopefully she wouldn’t have to wait long.
Hannah was squatting down to adjust one of the rubbing straps on her left shoe when the man in front of her finished paying and turned around. He tripped straight over her crouching form, tipping what felt like several gallons of beer over her head and down her front before toppling sideways into a pillar. ‘Oh SHIT,’ he yelled, turning back as Hannah stood up, her eyes wide with shock.
‘I . . .’ gasped Hannah, looking down at her white silk top, which was now soaked to the point of being entirely transparent. She wasn’t wearing a bra, and it now looked like she’d wrapped her boobs in clingfilm. She quickly crossed her arms over her chest and frantically searched for an appropriate response in a world with no swear words.
