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‘You told your dad about that?’
‘No, of course not.’ Rob paused, realising that he now had to tell her about what he’d said to his dad. But Hannah had been honest with him, so the least he could do was return the favour, however much like a lovesick wanker he sounded. ‘He and my mum are, like, actual couple goals. It was love at first sight over forty years ago and they’re still all over each other.’
Hannah smiled. ‘That’s nice.’
‘Anyway, I rang Dad to ask what that felt like. To meet someone and feel like you’d been knocked sideways.’ He glanced at Hannah to see if she was laughing, but she wasn’t.
‘Really? You asked him that?’
‘Yeah,’ replied Rob with a nervous laugh.
‘What did he say?’
‘Same as your dad. You only regret the chances you don’t take.’
‘Wow,’ said Hannah. ‘Maybe they’re on to something.’
‘It’s just . . .’ Rob rubbed his face, casting around for the right words. ‘Look, Hannah. You know I’ve never done a proper relationship before, and I really don’t want to mess this up. Not with you.’
‘What does that mean? That you’re happy for it to be someone else?’
‘No. Yes. Shit, I don’t know.’ The desire in Rob’s stomach turned to acid panic as he desperately tried to keep a hold on the conversation. ‘Look, I’m not explaining this very well.’
‘It’s fine,’ said Hannah. ‘I totally agree that I’m not the right person to be your commitment experiment. You need someone who can pick herself up if things don’t work out, and I’m not sure I’m ready for that yet.’
‘But—’ said Rob, looking at her desperately.
‘So let’s just accept that the timing isn’t right for either of us, and enjoy the rest of this trip.’ She didn’t sound annoyed and the words all made sense, but her jaw was clenched with something that looked like pain.
‘OK, but what about what our dads said? About regret . . . and chances . . . and stuff.’
‘Maybe that’s not about us having a relationship,’ said Hannah. ‘We both already took a chance on this trip together. Are you regretting that?’
‘Definitely not,’ said Rob, wondering why life couldn’t be more like the films, where he’d sweep Hannah into his arms, snog her face off, then they’d both live happily ever after.
‘Me neither,’ said Hannah. ‘So let’s make the most of it, and not make things any more complicated than they need to be.’
Rob nodded and smiled weakly, thinking about the empty sofa bed at the bottom of the hill. That had made things less complicated, and in lots of ways everything between him and Hannah was great. So why had this conversation left him feeling so empty?
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Hannah called Luke early Thursday morning, and was gratified that he agreed to a lunchtime video chat with his dad on the basis of very little information, but absolute trust in his big sister. So she and Rob walked Scrumpy up to the tapas restaurant in the village, figuring they’d make themselves scarce for an hour, then check in with Luke to make sure he was OK.
‘How do you think it will go?’ asked Rob, spooning patatas bravas onto their plates.
‘I think it will be fine,’ said Hannah, topping up both their glasses from the jug of white sangria. ‘Unlike me, Luke has a level head.’
‘What does that mean?’ asked Rob playfully. ‘Are you saying your little brother wouldn’t go off on a road trip with a random he’d only met the week before, adopt a dog and create a fake partner to deceive his father?’
‘That sounds really bad, when you put it like that,’ laughed Hannah. ‘I didn’t realise I was that much of a rebel.’
‘It’s one of the many things I like about you,’ said Rob, making Hannah wish she had the confidence to ask him to give her the full list. ‘What else have you discovered about yourself?’
‘What, since I split up with Graham?’ Hannah thought about it for a moment. ‘Hmm. I’ve definitely discovered that I like nice clothes. And that female friendships are important to me. I’ve never really done the whole gal pal thing.’
Rob nodded thoughtfully, and Hannah marvelled for the twentieth time how easy he was to talk to. She’d expected someone like him to get bored, or to look at his phone all the time, but he never did.
‘Have you stayed in touch with your tennis crew?’ he asked. ‘Are they up to date on all your rebel activity?’
