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“To distant family members. Cousins, I believe. From what I understand, when the Matron went to Russia, she took one look at Efrem and paid the juvenile correctional facility off handsomely to have him released into her custody with the understanding that she would take him from Russia so he couldn’t become a problem. Then she paid another impressive sum to his mother, which allowed Efrem’s brothers to return home,” Silvia says gently.
Somehow, the generosity of the woman everyone refers to asthe Matron—like she’s some villain out of a book—clashes with Pyotr’s sharp, commanding mother I’ve only ever met a few times in my life.
“That’s so… generous of Matron Veles,” I observe in awe.
Silvia smiles, a soft chuckle rising from her. “It is, isn’t it? Though in my experience, even the Matron’s most generous acts of kindness have an underlying motive.”
“How do you mean?” I ask, frowning.
“Well, she went to Russia to find someone to protect her son. She found Efrem—a superior being in anyone’s eyes when it comes to brute strength, size, intimidation, but he wasn’t even legally an adult. She took him out of a bad situation—true—which earned his trust. Then she paid to bring his family back together, which solidified his loyalty. From there, she offered to pay him a salary to protect her son, money to provide him food, shelter, and just enough extra that his family could survive on. It might not be black-and-white, but it seems to me that the Matron’s strategy was not to find a grown man fully capable of safeguarding her son. She found a sixteen-year-old boy and used his unfortunate circumstances to mold him to her will so she would never have to second-guess Efrem’s loyalty or devotion to her son.”
Dumbfounded, I stare at Silvia. When she puts it so bluntly, I can see her point. But I’m certain Efrem would never see it that way. I know how much he loves the Veles family. Still, hearing his story helps me better understand why he does so without question. And in truth, I don’t care whatthe Matron’s motives were. I’m eternally grateful for her decision.
But before I can respond, Silvia cuts in. “All this to say, I think Efrem’s past might have something to do with the responsibility he feels for breaking up your family. His actions in the past tore his family apart—even if killing his father was entirely necessary and, frankly, well deserved, in my mind.”
My eyes grow round as her story comes full circle, and I can see it, the reason for the guilt he’s shouldering. He feels responsible to protect Silvia—just as he did his mother. So to have her be threatened while he wasn’t present, of course, that would bother him. And then to find out I cut ties with my family to be with him, it must feel like his brothers being separated from his mother.
A deep sadness envelops me as I think about the agony on his face. And I wonder if he’s ever worked through the trauma he endured as a child. To kill his own father in self-defense—that alone would give a person demons.
I take another gulp of my wine, and Silvia gives me a kind smile.
“Now that you know his story, I want to give you a little advice. Not that you asked for my opinion, but I’m going to give it to you anyway,” she states.
I laugh. “Actually, that’s why I came here in the first place,” I confess.
“Well then, here’s my two cents. It might be hard to get involved with someone with a background and job like Pyotr and Efrem have. I won’t deny their world is terrifying. It’s dangerous and deadly, and to be quite blunt, it’s not entirely legal.”
Silvia pauses, giving me a pointed look as if to let that information truly sink in. And it does. Now more than ever, I’m aware of how sheltered I’ve been, how naive. And yet, knowing the truth doesn’t bother me nearly as much as I thought it would.
“But I wouldn’t dissuade you from being with Efrem, Dani, because men like Pyotr, men like Efrem, they also know how to love more deeply because of the risks they take. I can see it when Efrem looks at you. He loves you deeply. It’s just whether you think that love is worth the potential pain of losing him. Becausethat’sthe real risk you take.”
My heart squeezes at her closing statement, and though I can see the world more clearly now, I find my future far less discernible. I’m not mad at Efrem anymore. Far from it, honestly.But can I live with the possibility of losing him?
“Thank you, Silvia. You’ve given me a lot to think about,” I state, rising from my chair.
“Where do you think you’re going?” she asks.
I pause, biting my lip. I don’t really want to impose on Silvia overnight. Especially after seeing the state their house is in. She has enough on her plate already. But I don’t know if I’m ready to talk to Efrem just yet. I have a lot to work through.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. You’re staying here tonight. I don’t want you leaving this late. With the threats from the Zhivoder, I don’t trust that anyone’s safe.”
“Okay,” I murmur, silently grateful that she would say it with such conviction.
Tomorrow, I’ll talk to Efrem.
32
EFREM
I didn’t sleep last night. I imagine Dani went back to her parents—which hopefully means they made amends because she didn’t come to resolve things with me. I can’t decide if that makes me happy for her or just deeply, painfully sad.
Because I hate that my presence in her life could ruin their relationship so thoroughly. And at the same time, selfishly, I know it will be impossible to get over Dani. In the short time we’ve been together, she’s become my reason for being.
Rising before the sun, I spend several hours in my apartment’s gym, working through my emotions. Then I shower and dress for work, making myself a strong pot of coffee to get myself through what’s going to be a very long day.
Though it’s early, too early for my shift to start, I head to the Veles house to take my mind off things. The girls are up and about, the ones Gleb and his men seized from Mikhail, seeming to have found their rhythm in the house as they start their days.
“Efrem,” Silvia says as soon as I step into the kitchen, her eyes lighting.
