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With shaking fingers, I shove the door and it makes a creaking noise, just like in horror movies. The sight that greets me is much worse. Nightmarish.
They don’t notice my presence. Or the sound of my heart breaking into pieces. Their moans as Niall fucks some random girl from behind are like cries of a witch; scratching and bleeding me.
Tears sting my eyes and I can’t hold them back. When the initial shock wears off, I slam the door against the wall and yell, “You asshole.”
My boyfriend’s—ex-boyfriend—head snaps at the loud bang and his eyes widen into saucers when they clash with mine. The girl moans about why he stopped while he blinks rapidly, expecting me to disappear.
“Bianca… baby,” he softly says, still inside her. She finally turns and makes no attempt to shove him off. She isn’t even regretting it and shrugs. I flick my gaze back to him and point in his direction.
“We’re over.”
I run and the tears I was holding back by a thread fall until I’m numb. Someone calls my name when I push through the bodies downstairs but I keep running, desperate to get away from here. Anywhere.
As if God recognizes my pain, electricity cackles in the sky and it begins to rain. And it’s not soft and slow. It’s lashing like a thunderstorm.
In an instant, I’m drenched. My hands shake around my phone as I book a cab. I don’t remember how long I stand shivering and soaking outside in the cold night until it arrives and I’m sliding into the back seat. I can’t remember telling the cab driver my address or how I ended up at Dash’s place, until I’m knocking at his bedroom door.
“Bianca.”
My blurry gaze collides with his handsome face as his lock on my tear-stained face. They stopped falling sometime during the ride. My eyelids close for a second as the image of Niall and the girl fills my vision and I know it will forever haunt me.
Suddenly, my anger returns full force. I gave him everything and he threw it all in my face. If he thinks I’m going to forgive him and cry, he’s dead wrong.
“Bianca.”
Awareness sinks in that I’m standing in a wet dress outside the room of my ex-boyfriend’s mortal enemy. He’s half naked and his black sweatpants hang low on his hips with that infamous V on display. His stormy eyes don’t soften, but grow darker and intense. That granite jaw of his clenches the longer I stay mute and my heart palpitates.
I really look at him, absorbing every single little detail, and give my body free rein to admire the expanse of his chest and eight-pack abs. Dash is all man with the broodiness and violence. All sharp angles and chiseled features. And I hate it even as shivers race down my skin, not from cold but him.
The bane of my existence.
His goddamn words came true.
And I just want to erase everything that’s happened tonight. I want to feel desired. Wanted. Loved. Even if it’s just for a night and by a man I should despise but can’t.
“Why are you here?” he literally growls.
He goes absolutely still when I press myself against his hard body. Apart from the thundering of our hearts and the rain pelting outside, the air is silent. His abs tighten when I softly graze the muscles with my fingertips and rise on my toes to kiss his neck. The silence stretches as seconds pass and he doesn’t react. He doesn’t even touch me.
Am I that undesirable?
Is there something wrong with me?
The tears return and I push off him, backing away. An involuntary sob spills off my lips and I whisper, “I-I’m s-sorry.”
I turn, only to be pulled back into a pair of strong arms. One hand wraps me in an embrace while the other tucks my head against a steady heartbeat. Ugly sobs keep coming as I cry and he doesn’t say a word, only holds me through it all, even as my tears soak him.
When the pain turns to a low throb, I meet his powerful gaze watching me tenderly. But I also need his hate, his angst that he reserves for me.
“Do you want me?” I demand, my voice low.
His fingers in my hair tighten and he grits, “Bianca.”
“Because I want you to be my first.”
“Bianca,” he sighs, letting me go, and runs his fingers through his hair. “I don’t deserve it. Don’t deserve you.”
“No, you don’t. But I’m giving it to you anyway.”
