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“I’ve known you my whole life, Bee, and for as long as I can remember, you’ve always been the girl who believed in fairy tales, Prince Charming, and growing up to someday have your own family away from the fakeness of our world. I loved the fact that you were bold, open, and unafraid. Loved the fact that you still believed in love despite your family history. And then suddenly, that part of you died the night you broke up with Niall.”
She pauses to take a deep breath, like the memory is as hard on her as it was on me, and tears sting my eyes. Her own wet gaze meets mine as she continues, “It was so hard to watch you become a shell of your former self for months. I hate him so much for breaking your heart and your ability to trust another man. Every time I’ve seen you date someone, you slowly pull yourself away the second it starts to become something more. You’ve built these walls around your heart so high, that stops you from giving someone a real chance.”
People say no one forgets their first love, when the truth is it’s the heartbreak that no one forgets. And when the reason is your boyfriend cheating on you after promising you’re his entire world, the betrayal is bone-crushing and scarring. If you’re young and already believe the world is a cruel and pretentious place, then it’s simply impossible to get over.
Cheating doesn’t just wreck your relationship, it ruins all the future ones.
The feeling of not being good enough for someone, despite giving them every ounce of you is an ugly and twisted emotion.
The fear makes a permanent residence in your psyche, whispering and taunting. Once the trust is broken, it’s twice as hard to rebuild and no matter how hard I’ve tried, something always holds me back.
It’s easy for people to preach about being tough, to not let the past hold you back—but it’s easier said than done. Teenage heartbreak is toxic for a reason.
“None of them really fought hard to stay, Ro,” I finally whisper to her and Iris. “Maybe I want a man who’s strong enough to break those walls. Because I don’t have it in me to give my heart to just anyone.”
“At some point, you’ll need to ask yourself if those walls are actually protecting you or becoming the chains holding you back.”
I mull over her shockingly deep words that resonate inside me. I don’t know if I’m ready to face the truth, though, when it seems like my life’s becoming even more complicated lately.
“Would it be so bad if you fell in love, Bee?” Iris asks with a sad smile.
“Kitten.”
I look up into Dash’s face as he stands in the doorway, holding what appears to be a large bakery bag hanging from his hand. His expression, soft and pinched in apology.
Yes…My mind whispers. Yes, it would be bad.
“Is he back?” Rosa’s mad voice draws my attention. “Let me see him. I have a warning for that arrogant asshole for literally kidnapping you.”
My cheeks turn pink in embarrassment when her loud voice floats to Dash, whose lips tilt into an amused smirk. I peer down at my phone to see Iris rolling her eyes at Rosa and stifling a laugh. The depressing mood, now lifted from their faces.
“Gotta go. Love you both,” I whisper to them and cut the call before Rosa can say any more or threaten Dash with bodily harm.
I straighten up and sit with my hands in my lap while trying to appear outwardly calm, even though my insides are crumbling at how sexy he looks.
He looks like royalty with his broad shoulders encased in a crisp winter blazer that tapers into a lean waist and hair mused as though he ran his fingers through it too many times. Dashing, and did I mention sexy?
He could give French men a run for their money.
Mad, Bianca. You’re supposed to be mad at him.
However, I’m forgetting the reason why I should be mad as he stands there silently, waiting for me to speak.
“Well?” I arch my eyebrow.
His lips twitch slightly before he strides inside and once close, stares down at me.
“Do you know your nose scrunches when you get mad?” He taps the tip of said nose as he tells me this. “It’s cute.”
“Is that why you do it often?”
“Sometimes.”
“Asshole,” I retort, and he smiles.
The color of his eyes darkens when he becomes serious after a moment. “You were right.”
“What?” I whisper, stunned, my heart rate dropping.
