AllFreeNovel
Share Us
She goes rigid and a shutter goes down, and I know I’ve lost her.
“Yes.”
That single syllable holds so much finality it crushes me. Nobody ever gets to me. I’ve learnt to keep my emotions locked tight, except for her. Because she makes me feel every toxic and silly human emotion. At this moment, I feel unworthy. A feeling I felt all my life growing up, and it fucking bleeds. Stings like she ripped me apart.
Slowly, I let her go and put space between us. Hardening my expression into one of casual boredom, as if I didn’t just bare myself to her a second ago, I speak, “The car is waiting downstairs.”
“I don’t have a coat,” she hesitantly informs me.
I briskly walk to the other room and return with a garment bag, handing it to her without a word. She grabs it and methodically opens the bag, revealing an expensive dark purple full-length winter coat that matches her dress. I can tell she loves it from the way her gaze softens and sparkles as she runs her fingers over it reverently.
“When did you buy this for me?” She says in awe, stunned.
Instead of replying, I check my watch and coldly bark, “Let’s go.”
Hurt flashes across her face, but I ignore it and turn around to leave. Her footsteps follow only after I’ve reached the door.
If she wants to continue this arrangement like we’re strangers, then her wish is my command.
Chapter Twenty-nine
BIANCA
The whole ride Dash doesn’t spare me a glance or say a word. The small distance as he sits on the opposite end in the back seat feels oceans apart. His cold demeanor and silent treatment, throwing me off balance and making me question the choices I’ve made in the past few weeks. I knew I fucked up bad when he didn’t pull me close or tease me with his touch, which he loves to do in public.
The most daunting thing about all of this is, I secretly miss it, that I never really hated it as much as I pretended, and I didn’t realize how much I became used to it.
And isn’t that what I wished for?
He’s been nothing but thoughtful and supportive in his own domineering way ever since he agreed to marry me. And all I’ve done is fight and argue with him. My first impulse seems to be defiance when it comes to him.
It’s like my mind is subconsciously listening to Niall’s warning from long ago.
I don’t want Dash to think I’m not grateful for everything he’s doing for me. Standing up to my family, having my back as though I’m his to protect when he could just stay to the side and do only what’s necessary. He doesn’t have to care for me behind closed doors, yet he’s done it since day one.
And now, I’ve gone and ruined it with my insecurities.
The iciness—close enough to indifference—seeping from him could chill the hottest of deserts. My body feels cold and shivering despite wearing the beautiful woolen overcoat he got me.In purple.My favorite color. It’s simple yet chic and fits me perfectly.
When was the last time anybody gifted me something? I can’t even remember.
My eyes are drawn to his profile which is just as sexy as the rest of him. That chiseled jawline under the light scruff could cut glass while his mouth that always had a secret smirk for me, is now set in a firm line. The all-black suit stretched over his muscular frame sending off untouchable and fuck-with-me-and-I’ll-destroy-you vibes.
Till now, I believed he had his walls up and was keeping me isolated. Oh, how terribly wrong I was. This is what it feels like to be on the outs from him.
The silent, vacant, and inscrutable Dash Stern with the arctic chill in his bones.
One second, I was in the shadow of his warmth and suddenly, I’m thrown aside and put with the rest of the measly humans. My life split into two conflicting worlds.
If we could go back in time, I never would’ve answered him. The raw sincerity, the longing in his voice when he uttered that question, shook me to the core. There’s no way he could want me beyond our arrangement, right?
All my fears and demons came swimming to the surface and I blurted out yes as I retreated into myself. It was second nature to me. Just like Rosa revealed. Living with the truth that there’s something broken inside me, a piece that would never fit into place and leave me warped, is a sad burden. It’s continuously weighing me down and I never felt its heaviness as tangible as I do now.
By some miracle, if I wasn’t as afraid of letting someone in, there are a million reasons he and I can never be anything but two people bound by a painful history. A history I’ve tried so hard to forget and run away from.
As we drive down the roads of Paris with its picturesque beauty and vintage yet modern architecture, I reminisce about a future that could’ve been.
Perhaps, Dash and I could have fallen in love in another lifetime.
