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“I said I can hear them, not understand them…”
“You really like hearing your own voice,” I grumble. I feel Marcos’s lips on my ear moments before he whispers:
“I like yours better... Especially when you’re screaming my name!”
“Of course you do...” I can’t help but laugh, and his arms tighten even more around me. I nestle, enjoying the heat source on the cold night, since I don’t wear anything but a Marcos shirt. “I don’t understand how you might not be freaking out about this, Marcos.”
“I thought by now you’d give me more credit...” His tone is humorous, but the words that come out of his mouth are not funny.
“I don’t get you,” I admit. Warm lips stroll across my skin, caressing. “You don’t make up your mind about who you are... One time you are the man who has no shame about telling me he wants to marry me just because it will make it easier to maintain his single life. Another time, you’re the man who seduces me without a hint of remorse.In the other, the one who plays with my daughter and takes care of her, even without having to, and in the other, you’re the man who goes out to have sex because I told you no.” I sigh, and the feeling of emptiness that saying these words causes me is so good, that I continue: “But you are also the one who shares my pains in relation to my parents, who understands my reasons... And now I’m in your room, Marcos...After hours and hours of sex and I’m not leaving in a little while or tomorrow, I live here. Still, you’re hugging me and saying you want to know my thoughts... I just don’t get you…” I lay my head back, leaning on his shoulder and sigh.
Relief fills my chest.Every word spoken seems to have lifted a hundred pounds of cotton balls from my throat.I didn’t mean to say all these things, but it’s so exhausting to keep them to myself all the time.Besides, it didn’t work out very well, did it? I’m here, in Marcos’ arms.The resistance was left behind, but my doubts were not.
“And why can’t I be all of these?” he asks. The lips never stop still.They keep exploring every inch of my skin they find.
“Nobody is so many things at the same time, Marcos...” He laughs softly, amused.
“You’re a twenty-one-year-old girl who has yet to discover the world, but you’re also an intelligent, determined woman, with goals set and willing to sacrifice for them. You’re a mother, Antonella...An amazing mother...And a delicious lover.” He sinks his nose into my neck in the caress that I’m used to receiving. “You’re a good friend, or that crazy woman wouldn’t threaten me for you. You’re a dedicated student, you’re kind, you work hard, you’re honest, and yet... You didn’t blink when given the opportunity to trick me into achieving your own objectives” he pauses for a moment “Why can you and I can’t?”
I spend some time thinking about his words only to realize that he is absolutely right. But that doesn’t explain everything.
“That still doesn’t explain how you can be so calm with this whole situation.”
“Come here,” he asks, letting go of my arms. I get down on my knees and turn around, positioning myself facing Marcos.Almost immediately the hands go up my legs and infiltrate under the fabric, finding the skin completely bare.
“I like my shirt on you.”
“Of course you do...” I settle into his lap, leaving his thighs between mine, and Marcos moans as I sit.
“I thought you wanted answers,” he grumbles.
“And I want!”
“Then you should stop distracting me,” he warns, and I feel challenged, even if I didn’t mean to before. I grind, rubbing my legs open in his shorts. Slowly, I walk my fingers through the exposed arms until I reach his shoulders, chest, and Marcos squeezes my ass hard.It’s my turn to moan.His mouth approaches my chin and bites it. “So hot… So, so hot…” he murmurs, before letting his arms fall to his sides and his mouth moving away from mine too. I whine, and he laughs.
The punishment lasts almost nothing, because it only takes a few seconds for one of his hands to be on my face.
“I’m a simple man, Antonella...I do not run from my desires or suffer over them.Definitely, spending the next two years fucking you is no reason to cry.” Suddenly, he narrows his eyes, as if he had suddenly been intrigued by something, and his next words only confirm that. “How did you get red, Antonella? Because I’m not crazy! You looked embarrassed all the time, lowering your eyes and blushing... How?”
“Where did that come from?” I frown, finding it amusing and feeling curious.
“I’ve been asking myself this for a while... But every time something reminds me of that, we’re too busy for me to want to talk.” Smiles naughtily. “So?”
“Oh...” I laugh. “It was out of anger.”
“What?”
“I didn’t pretend to get red, Marcos... I really was, but it was out of anger,” I explain, and the smile on his face takes shape like an oil painting. Gorgeous, the bastard is gorgeous in an arrogant way. Then he bursts into a powerful laugh that shakes his shoulders and makes me laugh too.
“Oh, my God! Oh, I had never thought about that! You must have been so pissed off about some of the stuff I told you.”
“Some? How about all of them?” More laughter before he gently kisses my mouth.
“I like us like this, you know?” he asks and, for some reason, I forget that I have to breathe, I blink my eyes and, with each word he says next, I release some of the air I’ve trapped. “I didn’t know it was possible... But I really do...Maybe your age makes me feel younger...” And there goes the awkward moment of shortness of breath. His joke makes me roll my eyes.
“Yea, sure! Because you’re so… So old!” I say dragging it, and his hand drops a nice slap on the side of my body. I groan and grind, Marcos bites his lip and shakes his head.
“Do you remember what I said when I proposed?”
